Jitters and Clutters

Mika - Take It Easy

Unfortunately, Mika ain't really helping much :/

Tomorrow's the JPA interview! Eek!
For those who wants tips or really need ease their minds, this link is the best I've found :)
I'm dead nervous... But I realize there's not much I can do about it.
It's quite impossible to know for sure what they're gonna ask.
Aside from the most common one : Introduction on yourself.
And I have extra worries! I'm still in the Medical slot.
So yeah... I've got a lot of explaining to do.
I shall reveal why much later. I'm still feeling a little skeptical :/
Plus, it's April Fool's Day! More the reason to worry!

So I've spoken to many many many people for advise.
The best so far is Mr. Kingsley...
He's given me a loooong talk on principles and goals, long story.
He even made me more ponder MORE about other stuff actually...
But at least it made my head clear about some important issues.
Somehow I'm still a little clueless and confused...
After all, I'm at the stage where I have no idea what to do for the next 40 years.
Maybe some rough idea, but hello, we're talking about a lifetime career!
3 days just ain't enough to decide on something HEAVY like that!
Okay... Maybe I had 3 months before, but even that's not enough :/
That's the MAIN reason why I chose A Levels....!
No point taking that, but by the end of the day I've gotta decide on something that only needs foundation...
I'm a confused child, with too much in mind to think about.
I can't help it. It's compulsive.
Being the skeptical and cynical me, my brain feels like it's gonna get an aneurysm anytime.

But I guess that's LIFE.
What's life when it's NOT chaotic right?
At least I can say that my life's pretty interesting.
Aside from all the mental stress I'm facing, I have to say that I really enjoy the stage I'm at right now.
Having fun in college, with all these nice & sweet people I've met.
It made me change my perception on people...
Made me realize that friends are not all plastics and insincere, like I thought they were.
I'm glad to have finally found a bunch of people whom I can really trust and have no worries with :)
Well, I have trust issues, so to discover something like that, it's pretty awesome.

Today's lunch break's rather significant :)
There was a bunch of us from A Levels and Ausmat, but all interconnected through friends.
Had a great laugh about men, personal stuff, childhood and life basically.
It was a highlight of the day for me... I was practically down and cranky before that.
Due to the major decisions I have to make, and the VERY EXTREMELY late lunch break schedule.
Hmph... Don't really like Mondays and Tuesdays when lunch break is sooo late :(
So anyway, it's really great to meet new people...
Although I've just known them for three months, it's pretty odd how we can really click.

Bel, get well soon!
Keep those pair of eyes fresh!
So that we can resume our man-hunting sessions ;)

I gotta scurry off now.
No idea how to prepare for this interview :/
Might not even get proper sleep for tonight.
Sigh...

ALL THE BEST TO THE REST :)

Light Within the Darkness

Mitch Butler - Better Day (Earth Hour Song)


Everyone knows it's Earth Hour today.
It has been bombarded on TV, newspapers and even the radio.
I'm proud that Malaysia has chosen to be a part of it this year.
Although I bet most of them did not bother to take part...
From what I heard, many of them still kept their lights on..
And although some decided to take part, they only turned off their living room lights!
*coughs*jean*coughs :p
That's pointless don't ya think??
I can proudly say I switched off everything.
Not for an hour, but for THREE hours.
My very own 180 hour :]

That's because my family and I wasn't home xD
We went out for dinner with my uncle who came down all the way from Johor Bahru.
And spent time at the Wok Cafe (another uncle's restaurant, go try it!)
It was brightly lit! Can't blame em. Turn off the light for an hour, and there goes his business.
It's not easy dealing with food business.
Totally depends on luck sometimes.
My uncle hates the rain! That's when people decide to stay home...
And it really depends if people happen to pass by his restaurant.
Of course advertising is important, but he just started, so it's still hard to find funds for that.
Do drop by and try. He serves good Hokkien Mee/Prawn Mee.
And everything's authentic nyonya food, some ingredients brought all the way from Penang, food haven! :D

So anyway, I totally support Earth Hour!
I think it's a brilliant idea for awareness.
I'm also pretty surprised about the media coverage on this project.
It was all over the place, and many actually responded to it!
You've gotta admit, Malaysians are not really aware of environmental issues.
And we're one of the filthiest people on Earth, step outta the house and you can see dump everywhere!
Right up to the "No littering" sign. Maybe we're blind due to ignorance.
But I guess people are changing... The new generation seem to have taken notice of the serious environmental problems we're facing.
It's great that even my college is involved in an Earth Hour event organized at Sunway Pyramid.
Sadly, I wasn't a part of it. Wanted to, but all this takes time.
I've spent too much time outta the house, I need to stay in and think straight for once :/
So, I'm really curious about how the event went. Hmm... Any idea?

Well, a round of applause people!
I think Malaysians are starting to change.
A little bit laaa... One tiny step at a time right?
You can't expect the whole nation to make a 180 overnight.
This should be a good start, shows that there's still hope! *sniggers*
I get a little excited when there're projects for the environment and animals.
So, I'm kinda disappointed that I couldn't be a part of the Earth Hour event due to lack of time and exhaustion.
Oh well, I guess there's always next time :]

Stay green, people :D

signing off...

p/s : ironically i'm addicted to facebook :/ wtf...

Scalpel and Stiches 4 & 5

All American Rejects - Give You Hell

Sorry for the delay on yesterday's post.
Was extremely exhausted...
And was in a total emotional dilemma.
Still trapped in that situation.
I hate hate hate being in a dilemma every now and then.
My mind's so bloody fickle, till I can't think straight.
I can't elaborate more on this... I have my reasons...
I will reveal much later on, so yeah.

Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor (Day 4 & 5)
Exposure to Medical Career Program (something like that :p)

We didn't do much on the fourth day.
Visited the Surgical ward, where patients are emitted before and after surgery to recuperate.
The nurse was really really nice to bring us around.
There wasn't any houseman (HO) or medical officer (MO) available at that time.
So, we didn't get the opportunity to ask much about the surgical cases there.
But Sister was kind enough to bring us around and explain some recent cases.
Like there was a patient who just came in from thyroid surgery, still deep in his sleep.

Hmm... what else?
I can't really recall much...
After that was a looooong but entertaining talk by Mr. Harris (orthodontic specialist).
Funny... Once they become a specialist, they prefer to be addressed as Sir or Mr.
He said, "We study so hard to gain the Dr. title, but we've gotta work even HARDER to get rid of it..."
I really enjoyed his talk. He joked a lot about his experience as a doctor.
They were all true experience, but he has a good sense of humour around it.
After listening to him, it was pretty clear that my heart has taken its own course.
I knew at that point what I wanted and what I didn't want.
But due to circumstances, you can't always follow your heart.
A lot of things have to come into consideration...

I know I'm not making any sense now...
I'm trying to keep details as minimal as possible.
My JPA interview is coming up soon...
1st of April, that's right. On April's Fool.
According to a forum site, there were cases where the interviewers played some trick at the candidates, just to lighten things up...
Cause it's bloody BOH-RING to interview thousands of em.
They keep changing the language. From BM to English then to BM again...
I think I'll just die if they speak to me in BM.
I'll slurr and give all kinds of umm OMM ERRR AARR...
Anyway, I heard some interviewers do Google candidates' blog.
I'm afraid that whatever I state here might affect their impression and all that.
It's quite a big deal! It's friggin JPA scholarship!
They can offer to send you overseas to further your studies.
I can't bloody afford that, so this is a HUUGEE opportunity for me.
If I don't get this scholarship, I can bloody well forget about studying overseas.
Not that studying locally is not good enough...
It's better overseas, you get cultural differences and gain more knowledge about what's OUT THERE.
In Malaysia, we kinda live in this shallow shell.
Everything is in reach, but it's because we never bother to stretch out for it.
Either that or because the government kinda hides stuff from us, for some particular reason I have no idea of :/

So anyway... back to the program.
I can get so bloody carried away...
From the program... to the interview... to April's fool... and then the government :/
ANYWAY...
Today was pretty much the same. Visited the Orthopedic Ward.
Saw some really gruesome leg wounds.
This is were bones and flesh are all over the place.
Not an easy field I tell ya. This is where you witness groans, moans and sometimes screams of pain and agony.
Again, the Sister entertained us most of the time
HO and MO were all busy and only one HO managed to squeeze some time for us.
We heard the same stuff that we've been listening to for the past THREE DAYS x|

Do it if you're really interested.
Don't do it for the money.
It's not a glamorous job.
There're a lot of sacrifices you must make.
You can partially forget about your social life.
Patients come first, not yourself, or your own family...

It is discouraging, but many stood strong on their decision.
I asked around... And many of them said they are DEAD SURE they wanna be a doctor.
One even said that she's desperate to do it.
Another said she wants to do NOTHING ELSE but medicine.
Yes, it is very very EXTREMELY intimidating to be around these people.
I salute them. They have found their "calling".
It's a blessed thing... They know what they want in life...

Back to the Orthopedic...
We got to listen to a nurse's point of experience rather than a doctor.
The Sister who brought us around told us about her experience.
She had a few cases where she had to advice her patient whether to amputate or not.
Most specialists will recommend to amputate the minute they suspect the wound would spread.
But for some cases, it's not necessary, just a step of precaution.
So, this particular Sister will advise her patient, whether or not it's necessary.
She had two cases where the patients took her advice, refused to amputate and in the end their injuries healed.
So she actually helped them to save their leg...
In my opinion, nurses are the unsung heroes.
Usually when you know the doctors' names but not the nurses.
They're the one who's with you most of the time.
Cleaning your wounds, tending your bed, food, etc...
In the Operation Theater, the nurses are needed to prepare the equipments required.
They're responsible to make sure that the doctors use the proper tools.
Without them, things just won't work. The hospital won't survive.
And yet, most patients do not realize or take notice of their existence.
I think it's a NOBLE job, aside from being a doctor of course.
Cause they deserve some sort of recognition.
So, I support whoever that is interested in becoming a nurse!
I can't do it. I don't have that sort of patience and endurance.
Doctors and nurses have different kinds patience levels.
I would say that the doctors have the easier job.
In sense of endurance especially!

I just stated a big give away right?
I think if you read between the lines, you roughly know what my heart has decided.
Then you would understand the dilemma I'm in.
I'm afraid to reveal it publicly because a lot of people will come messing with my head with a lot of advice and questions.
I kinda need to clear my mind and think straight for a minute.
Scratch that. Think straight for SEVERAL DAYS.
Time is not what I have.
The interview is in less than a week's time.
And I have to decide on something that would affect my future.
*groans* This is heavy... So darn heavy....

Argghh... Anyway, I'll cut short.
We didn't do much today.
Had another talk by Dr. Shuhaila (Clinical Specialist) after that.
She gave us vital information about medical school, interviews, doctors criteria, etc.
For those who are pretty sure that they wanna be a doctor, her talk just strenghtens their decision.
For those who are not..... Let's just say it created more room for doubts.
All in all... It's a GOOD exposure.
JPA has done a great job in coming up with this program.
It's really an eye opener, although I would say that Hospital Putrajaya is not exactly the best hospital to head to if you wanna see the ugly reality of medical profession.
It's a district hospital, less patients, and far more relaxed.
My advice to future candidates : Go to Hospital Kuala Lumpur or Hospital Klang.
Apparently, it's a MAD WORLD.
Thus, you can foresee the challenges that lie ahead.
Jeng Jeng Jeng...
Medicine... Awesome field. BEYOND AWESOME.
Mind blowing AWESOME....

Well.. the end of the program *applauds*
Bloody tiresome... Going back and forth from Putrajaya.
I'm glad it's over. Now I can concentrate on my studies and activities I've abandoned.
But... The nightmare of JPA interview is awaiting.
Oh life is just so darn great ain't it... =.=

Toodles for now.
Off to hibernate!

Scalpel and Stiches 3

Jamestown Story - Futile Road

Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor (Day 3)
Exposure to Medical Career Program (something like that :p)

Today's post is gonna be a little dry and boring...
Because it revolves around ONE Q&A session.

We visited the obstetrics and stayed around for about an hour.
I expected to see a ward full of cooing babies :D
But to no avail... Putrajaya Hospital obstetrics ward has a code whereby the baby has to be with the mother 24/7.
So, all the babies were in the mummy's ward xD which would be so awkward if we wanted to see the babies.
Divar (I hope I got the spelling right :/ I'm hopeless with names), the only guy in our group, felt uneasy being is an all women ward.
Which explained why he was pretty quiet throughout the tour.
The head nurse of obstetrics department, whom we called "Sister", brought us around the ward (which seems pretty small).
We could hear babies cry and went "awwww....."
Bet it wouldn't be the same reaction if it were our own child or sibling xD
From vivid experience!! My youngest brother had colic when he was a few months old.
Imagine... A tiny baby has a voicebox with unbelievable decibels that can rock the entire house, in the middle of the night till the early dawn.
Sleep was pretty much non-existent for my parents at that tough stage.
So, think twice before you get a "bun-in-the-oven"!

Okay, back to the tour...
We had quite a long chat with a young Medical Officer.
She was placed in Obstetrics and Gynaecology by recommendation.
Turns out you can't really choose which department to go to after your housemanship.
Unless you're really skilled in that area, then you can to choose the prefered.
I could see that she (the MO) was really tired and had lack of sleep.
She mentioned that O&G is the toughest field among the 6 compulsary fields during housemanship.
Two lives are involved : the mother and the baby.
Aside from that, their on-call hours are 24/7.
"I don't know why, a lot of people want to give birth at Putrajaya Hospital..." she joked with a tiresome sigh.
O&G is so stressful, at times she would have sleepless nights thinking about her patient's condition.
She made an important point : never get too emotionally attached to a patient. Things will get really complicated and difficult to handle.

We asked her about the studying years and all the stress involved.
Apparently, the first and second year are the most dreadful.
Medical students have to study their asses off and at the same time, work their till they drop (literally).
She said studying overseas is not as glamourous as it sounds...
You can't get much practical skills from hospitals overseas, because most of the patients there are insured, so they wouldn't allow young medical students to treat them.
Whereas, locally in Malaysia, medical students can get more hands on experience because procedures like blood taking and vital stats are done by doctors and not the nurses.
So, it's really a pros & cons situation.
You get a wide range of knowledge, but lack the practical experience, from studying overseas.
But I guess it all depends on the particular university and hospital you're located at.

She also said that it's important for the medical students to be inquisitive and initiative.
In other words, you have to be annoying and tick the medical officer off by asking "why WHY WHY?!" xD
But really, it takes more than knowledge from the books.
You must have the initiative to perform procedures.
There must be a sense of urgency too.
So, the typical Malaysian tidak apa attitude has to be shreded off pronto!
The one thing I realised was she always made it clear to us that being a doctor is a tough job!
But, it's not impossible.
If you have the passion and the deepest interest, it wouldn't be a bed of roses, but somehow it'll be a smooth ride, with occasional bumps in time to come.
She said, once the medical student on housemanship has adapted to the hospital and schedule, it's quite enjoyable.
Like every other doctors and medical officers, when we asked if she have any regrets, she replied "No..." without a doubt in sight.
I'm really glad we had a chance to speak to her, because now we know it's not all 'pins and needles' and there can be bliss behind one of the toughest jobs in the world.

Those are the main issues discussed, that I can remember.
I can't recall the rest. It'll take me some time to think, but I've gotta cut short.
I have Further Maths test tomorrow, and this time I really have to practice my arse off!
Chem test today was dreadful! But memang padan mukalah for not studying hard :D

Well, I better scurry off now....

Toodles~

Scalpel and Stiches 2

Avenged Sevenfold - Sidewinder

Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor (Day 2)
Exposure to Medical Career Program (something like that :p)

And so 2 days down, 3 to go.
Again it was quite a short session.
Was at the hospital from 8.30 am to 10.30 am.
Barely even half a day, so I decided to go to college after that.
Since I promised Mr Kingsley I would try my very best to attend musical rehearsal.
Turns out, I didn't have transport home, so I had to skip that as well.
Lesson learned : never make a promise you think you can't keep :/

Anyway... I shall just lay out what happened at the hospital today.
First we went to the Emergency Department where most sudden cases would go to.
The place was practically empty, and everything was soooo laid back.
There was only ONE patient. He suffered a heart attack, so the nurses were taking his ECG.
Nothing too interesting because I've seen it a thousand times on TV.
Sigh. I know, I'm being so morbid and uninterested xD
I am, it's just that when things don't reach your expectations, it's only natural to feel let down.
So anyway, we met a few young doctors who were halfway through their housemanship.
Sweet and friendly people.
There were 3 female doctors, and we could see that they were enjoying their job, albeit the obvious fact that they were lack of sleep.
So we bombarded them with a few questions.
A few of my group members began asking technical questions, like what are the ECG for, and what do the graphs (ECG) mean...
Which totally placed the doctor at a tight spot because she just went "Huh. How to explain?!" xD
It was practically clear that we need not ask questions like this.
No point for us to know at this stage anyway...
So I started to ask some VITAL questions that I bet have been running through every candidate's head (I think...)
Then it became really interesting... xD

Do you have a social life besides work?
Umm... Social life huh? *ponders ponders* You can have a social life... but you'll be busy working hours of shifts most of the time... It's tough, but of course you can have a social life.

So, do you have time for family and friends. And time to go out and do stuff.
Yeah sure... During the weekends usually. But some hospitals require you to work during the weekends as well. Imagine, working non stop without any off days (JENG JENG JENG). Time to go off? Sure. After work there's lots of time. But you'll be so tired, by the end of the day all you wanna do is laze on the couch, watch tv, then SLEEP *grins* (So darn true...)

How's university life, do you have to study like crazy? (asked by another group member)
Well, YES. Study very very hard. But you know what? Study hard... PLAY HARDER! If you wanna play hard, then you study hard too lorr...

What made you want to be a doctor?
Ugh. I hate that question. Everyone keeps asking that. Interview la. Lecturers la. Friends la. Now you guys. Really... I don't really know :/

Why are you interested in medicine? What made you look into this field?
Who would not be interested in medicine? It's so interesting! Everytime something new comes up, it makes me want to know more... It's never boring.

So your parents must be really proud of you... and you must be really proud of yourself?
Hmm... yeah, they're proud *looking doubtful* And yeah, I'm really proud of myself. Not because of gaining the "doctor" title. But because when I look at myself and think 'hey, I know a lot of stuff that people don't know'. And the best part is when you sleep at night, and think about all the people you've helped, nothing beats that. It's the inner satisfaction of doing something good.

There were a few other questions, but I can't remember them acurately, so yeah.
To sum it all up, they don't regret a single bit for choosing to become a doctor.
Yes, it's hard work and tough life. But it's all worth it.
When you manage to save a life, it's something to be proud of, but in a very humble way.
I was really encouraged after speaking to him, because I was so worried about my social life.
I'm the type of person who would literally die if my social life goes down the gutter...
So, now that I know as long as time is managed, there is time to PARTEH :D

Next we went to the Forensic!
*drumrolls* Blood! Gore! Dead bodies!!!!
Naw... there wasn't ANY dead bodies in the freezer when we got there :(
So, we had a tour around the place. It was pretty huge.
And it had this really really odd smell of formalyde.
Now whenever I smell sanitary detergents or anything that has a tinge of ammonia, I'm reminded of the morgue.
It was pretty freaky because of all the metal tables, like the ones you see on CSI.
According to the officer, everything you see on CSI is the real deal!
In America, the Forensic Departement is placed under the Polis / FBI department.
So it seems like all the forensic investigations are done next door.
Whereas in Malaysia, the Police Department and the Forensic Department are seperated.
All the post mortem investigation are done in the hospital.
The officer then showed us pictures of dead bodies, before they were collected to the hospital.
Most of the bodies were decapitated and distorted!
Some were murdered, many were road accidents and there were a few burn cases.
The pictures were gory and gruesome.
I felt so uneasy deep down in my gut....
Not because of the gore, but because at that moment, it hit me.
HUMANS ARE BARBARIC...
Worse than animals, scratch that... We should be placed 10 classes below animals!!

There was this picture of a pregnant woman, sprawled on the ground, distorted.
She was strangled, thrown out the window and rammed over with a truck.
Right next to her thigh, lay a tiny baby with the umbilical cord still connected.
How can anyone, so inhuman, slaughter a pregnant woman and ram her over till her unborn baby actually "flew" out of her body???
To my utter shock, to officer said this was rather common.
Murder cases like these happen ALL THE TIME.
I don't think I can survive a day in Forensics.
My heart can't bear the ugly side of the world.
I rather live in one filled with RAINBOWS and UNICORNS :D

After that we had a short Q&A session.
The first question I popped was :

So... Anything supernatural around here???
Haha... Err... Well, I do come here 3 to 4 am, and nothing really happens. But sometimes I get that weird eerie feeling, but decided to ignore it. In my opinion, I'm not disturbing their peace or anything like that. I'm just trying to do my job. I would be lying if I said I'm not afraid. But all in all, I'm doing my job.
Kadang-kadang rasa tak syok then saya chao la... xD

What are the most common death cases?
Road accidents. There're plenty of road accidents around here. We collect bodies from Sepang area. But thank God we haven't had any this year (WOW).

So what's the worst and most extreme dead body you've encountered?
They're all horrible! Semua pun teruk. Semua pun pernah nampak. But the WORST would be the ones infested with maggots. Those bodies have already started decomposing. And the smell is unbearable. After nine years into this field, I still find the smell really unpleasant.
Busuk sampai boleh lekat baju, tau? Tapi sudah biasalah...

The officers were really friendly and patient to tell us so much about what they do.
Although, we (future doctors xD) won't be doing most of the dirrty job, they still explained what they do.
Doctors usually carry out post mortems. CUT OPEN EM BODIES! xD
The officers are the ones who go to the crime scene to collect the dead bodies back to the hospital.
Tough job! To see dead people all the time... And how gruesomely they're killed :/

After Forensic we went to the Specialist Clinic.
Nothing much here.
We just sat and observe the way the patients consult the doctors.
I'm just gonna skip this part, because there's seriously nothing much to talk about...
And I have to scurry off to study for my Chemistry test tomorrow....
Been slacking, so I've gotta work extra hard for now...
More to come tomorrow... But it wouldn't be interesting =.=
Lardeeedarrr... I have to think positive...

Toodles~

:D

Haha.
Mummydearest's car is P-fied.
Daddydearest's is quivering in fear now xD
Too bad I only have a pair of stickers :p

Scalpel and Stiches 1

Joe Purdy - Far Away Blues

Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor (Day 1)
Exposure to Medical Career Program (something like that xD)

I feel like kicking myself in the arse, if only I could reach.
GRR... I just let a totally fcking awesome chance slip off my fingers!!!

So, today was the first trip to Hospital Putrajaya.
Being the usual me, I was all excited, full of hope and expectations.
Reached there with an empty stomach and was in no mood for hospital food whatsoever.
I was fretting about what to wear the day before, and seems like I didn't have to bother.
Saw students with vast range of dress code, from a billion dollar broker to "I just fcking woke up!"
In other words, some were dressed overly formal (with blazers and coats) whereas others were overly casual.
Those who came in super casual are geniuses!
We were released at 10.30am.
I was like, WTF?!
You make us come all the way to friggin Putrajaya for a friggin taklimat and that's it??
Sigh... I'm just really pissed that I totally missed the oppurtunity of witnessing a surgery at the Operation Theater!

I didn't actually mind that the session was so darn short.
I'm really really really EXTREMELY bummed and won't be able to get over it for a long time.
There were more than a hundred of us, so we were divided into groups.
Then, the officer En Mahmud, asked us to pick a group leader.
This is the part that I dislike the most...
I was contemplating whether to volunteer myself...
Thinkin about the consequences and how would it benefit me.
Let's just say I took too long to decide and finally chickened out.
Another girl voiced out and volunteered decently, and we were fine with it.
So all is well...

UNTIL...
En Mahmud revealed there was a "reward" for these volunteered/elected/forced group leaders.
Immediately, I went "SHIT..."
Apparently, he planned a personal trip around the hospital, including to restricted areas, for the group leaders only.
That's not all, there's a SHWEEET ICING ON THE CAKE.
They get to watch a procedure in the OT!

Deep down in my cerebral I was screaming like an opera singer, standing at the peak of ze mountain.
And I wanted to kill myself, litterally!!!!
I might snag a bottle of cyanide from the hospital tomorrow to drown myself.
Or feed myself to cannibals, Jean's generous idea.
That's how FRUSTRATED I am!!!
Urgghh... People were asking me to "get over it".
It ain't easy. If you really know me, you'll know why.
I'm been dreaming to watch a procedure at a hospital ever since I was a Grey's Anatomy fanatic.
Just when I got that chance, I friggin let it go.
Damn it damn it damn it!!!


I'm all out of mood today...
Kinda disappointed with the program's schedule too.
It's pretty short. I expected it to take the whole day till 5pm.
But most days it's like a 3-4 hours session only.
Visits to wards and different specialize room.
Maybe it's too soon to be totally let down.
I'm just really bummed about missing the trip to the OT.
So I'm pretty much bummed about everything due to that.
Sigh... I really do hope tomorrow will brighten things up.
My group will be visiting the morgue and forensics.
May blood and gore cheer me up then :p

Toodles...

Rebellion's Scribble?

Au Revoir Simone - Through the Backyard

So I was surfing for ticket designs for ze A Level Ball in June
Because somehow I involuntarily volunteered myself into that mess :/
I do that a lot nowadays because I'm such a "mental-pushover".
I'm somehow a sucker for the "puppy-dog-pout" trick. Geez...
Anyway... while Googling, I stumbled upon tattoo designs.
No idea how it was interconnected...
So, there it was, Miss Jolie-Pitt's sexy back bared out in front of me eyes...


And I'm soooooo drawn to her awesome tattoos...
I've been thinkin about getting inked for some time now
But never had any serious thoughts in it. Until now...
The tattoo on her shoulder blade inspired me to think of getting one like a tiger's clawing effect.
That'll be so cool in a way...

Or something like that...
Because I've always been fascinated by doves, and it gives me a sense of tranquility.
I'm reminded of how bliss freedom is whenever I see the wings of a dove.

These aren't bad either...

Okay, so it's pretty obvious that I'm making a serious statement...
Or may take me as implying that I'm getting inked.
Well, it's not as simple as that.
Yes I have thought, or more accurately, tempted to get a tattoo.
Emotional and principle reasons I cannot explain...

I'm foreseeing a line of people getting ready to pull a bullet into my brain the minute I get beneath the needle.
My parents are the first in line of course, especially my mom.
She'll disown if I come home with a tat.
In religious reasons, I'm not supposed to get my body marked.
I've not been very religious lately, so you know how it goes....

Not like I'm gonna have a demonic looking symbol or picture drawn all over my body.

So far all I got was "omg are you serious?"
Or... "eek. heck no!"
Mom's reaction was the best, "Don't you dare!" with those piercing eyes...

I don't see how a tattoo will affect one's religious beliefs...
Or make that person seem like a rebel, gangsta, whatever...
It's just another way to express oneself, and prolly mark an identity.
Somehow people's conceptions have made all these labeled as sinful and tainted.

I don't know...
Maybe I'm just going through a phase...
My mind's a little caught up in it's own world right now.
Heh :D

And So Forth

Muse - Take A Bow

Still anticipating for the JPA shortlist to be released...
The wait is killing me...
I might have to miss 5 days of college in a row, if my name pops up.
But it'll be soooo AWESOME!
I'll get to visit the insides of a hospital!
Might be able to see some corpse at the morgue! How cool is that?!
I'm so super excited! Really hope I'll be shortlisted.
It'll be such an experience! Always wanted to attend this kinda stuff.
But this kinda opportunity almost never comes around.
So, I'm just a tiny step away...

I'll be back to announce if I'll be going.
Then I'll constantly blog about the daily experiences...
Gonna be shhooo fun :D

Feelin like a kid with a lollipop :P

[Edited, 1845]
Yay! I got shortlisted! Whoot whoot!
I'll be visiting Putrajaya Hospital for their 'Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor'.
Hope it'll be as fun as it sounds *fingers crossed*
Scalpels and stitches, here I come!!!

Poket Full of Stars

Adele - Chasing Pavements

As you can see I've been trying really hard to update constantly :D
Doesn't take much time, but it does taking some proper thinking of what to blog about.
Found out that several unexpected people drop by for a peek... *coughs*
So, I guess it's really important for me to control my thoughts :/
Anyway, everything has been on a fast pace this week.
Thankfully I got a lot of things settled.
Finally passed my driving exam, after failing once on the slope.
Cost me an extra 150 bucks. It was a squeeze...
Aside from that, there's all this pressure on scholarship application.
Apparently the JPA scholarship that I applied for would release the shortlist for the Medicine program by Friday.
And apparently there's a recruitment running for 5 days :/
I'm still trying to find out what it really means...
I might have to miss 5 days of college, whole of next week.
Which is NOT GOOD. I'm anticipating Chem and F. Maths test.
Plus, Mr Goh is sweeping through the F. Maths chapters like a friggin gamma machine (ignore the geeky comparison :D).
I was already kinda lost for missing class on Monday due to driving test...
I can't bloody imagine missing a week.
I'll be a GONER!

Hoorah hoorah. Ain't life great?!

On the side note... I've been a loyal AmericanIdol fan :)
Haven't followed the reality show since Taylor Hicks won and Blake Lewis lost to Jordin Sparks
But of course hottie David Cook pulled me back to this gaga franchise :D but only right at the end of the season, during the final 3 episodes.
So here's the round up of my faves...

Adam Lambert

My first thought : Hey, he totally reminds us of David Cook...
But he's sooooo different compared to Cook.
He has this weird edgy way of performing that's so similar to Steven Tyler from Aerosmith.
Odd. But it works! I was instantly captivated after his M.J "Black & White" performance.
Although today's country performance might make a few audience feel slightly uncomfortable due to the almost-drag-queen-like-tone...
I can say for sure, he's definitely into the finals.

Danny Gokey

He's just a sweet honest soul!
And that awesome voice that he has, gosh!
I would definitely recognize him on the radio, instantly.

Alexis Grace

A small girl with a BIG voice!
She's got the whole package and it's IMPOSSIBLE not to adore her...

Matt Giraud

Love his voice, but he lack of personality...
But I'm drawn cause he has this John Mayer factor that makes me fall head over heels :D

I don't usually do a post on AmericanIdol...
But I really think that these contestants deserve a shout out.
This season may lack the OOHM... as most people say.
But there are a number of different and unique stars awaiting to be discovered.

Thanks to AI, I now have an add on to my TV addictions.
The Tudors on HBO every Monday night, is one of em :D
A sexy English HBO original mini-series (Jonathan Rhys Meyers!! whoot whoot! ) ;)

Anyway... gotta scurry off to finish my Chem assignment.
Boohoo...

Toodles!

Wicked and Wild Wind

Coldplay - Viva La Vida

It's so unfair...
Every other courses seem to have a week's break.
Foundation courses have 2 weeks!!
But I still have to attend classes endlessly =.=
all the way till end of May... "hooraah! hoorah!!"
I'm running out of fuel, seriously.
I'm such a prick for complaining about how exhausted I am most of the time xD
Can't help it....
I'm supposed to update about our party @ Laundry last night
but I've gotta get pictures from the gals first!

and ManU totally got their ass trashed :P

Shall upload pictures soon...
Now I've got a lot of forms to fill.
I hate filling forms...

By the way, MPH is having a warehouse sales @ Mayang Plaza (old Lim Kwok Wing building).
Books are bloody cheap there.
Bought novels like Marley&Me, Jodi Picoult's, and Cormac's for no more than RM15 each.
Serious shit, but you've gotta hunt.
Most of Jodi Picoult's and other best sellers are about RM25 (not bad, market price RM34.90)
For Twilight fans out there who have yet purchased the books, head over there.
The whole collection is out for sale with plenty of stocks, less than RM30 each.

Knock yourselves out.

Toodles.

Le Judgement Day

It's coming out on Thursday.
I'm so darn scared, my pants might blow off!
Shit shit shit. I have this bad feeling deep in my gut, I hope it's not intuition.
After leaving it behind for so many months, it comes back to haunt you.
Thanks to the press, it has become the topic of every conversation...
And all I can do is shut my ears real hard and sit in the corner of denial.
The day comes when I have to face reality.
Shit. This means I have to really start deciding what I wanna do to apply for scholarships...
I'm still all clueless and lost.
No point wishing "goodluck". What's done is done.

OMG. Can someone please pass me that Vodka Tonic?!
I've gotta spin myself outta reality...

If I'm MIA on Thurs or Fri, you should know I'm sobbing and screaming and prolly getting ready to jump of a cliff...
Happy Landings! :D
God... I'm so morbid... :/

"Not Even In the Face of Armageddon"

Simon and Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence


Love this soundtrack.
Took me sometime to figure out the strumming. Now I've gotta learn the plucking! :D

Watchmen was awesome!
Brought "superheroes" movies to a whole new level.
Wonder why I have never heard of the Watchmen before this.
Makes every other comic character seem like amateurs.
Love the fact that most of them are vigilantes fighting for justice.
And the political plot just brings a brilliant twist to the whole story.
I shall hunt of Watchmen comics now :D

Favorite character has gotta be Rorschach played by Jackie Earle Haley, who brought an awesome itch of darkness and cynic to the character!

Jeffrey Dean Morgan who was such a sweetheart in Grey's Anatomy acted as Edward Blake aka The Comedian, a total jackass.

Rated 8/10 for awesome effects, great soundtrack and brilliant characters.
Plus the amazing portrayal of history (President Nixon, the Soviet, etc)!
And not forgetting the gory details and blood splatters!
Totally gets my two thumbs up for gore!
Skip Dragonball and Streetfighter!

Catch...

WATCHMEN

my movie reviews are back on track! teehee....

toodles!

Bring It By Me

Britney Spears - If You Seek Amy

I just lovelovelove controversial songs with awesome beat :D

It's Thursday once again, and I feel like hell.
Been drinking way WAY too much coffee, due to easy access vending machines :D
I might need to go for laser whitening sooner than I thought... Bad effects of caffeine :/
Nutty and I finally spoke to the leaders of the volleyball club.
We were facing withdrawal symptoms everytime we glanced at the court.
Of course I'm exaggerating! We just miss volleyball... A LOT!
Plus, I haven't been exercising much... Aside from the horrific stairs!
Funny thing is, I'm losing weight...
I'm eating more frequently than I used to, but somehow I'm losing the flabs :/
Maybe it's true what they say : the more frequent your meals, the faster your metabolic rate.
Or that's what people CHOOSE to believe.
It's not that Sunway's food is totally awesome or anything like that.
In fact, I DREAD eating at the cafeteria.
Choices are limited and the cleanliness is questionable...
Not to mention EFFING EXPENSIVE for its shitty quality.
But somehow we're all getting used to it.
I'm so waiting for the chance to drive, so I can at least head over to Carl's Jr @ Sunway Pyramid and make it back in time!
Punctuality seems to be a pretty serious issue...

Sigh... Time is flying by real quickly.
It's friggin March already and some of my lecturer's are starting to remind us of our mid semester exams in 2 months time.
It's freaky! I was expecting things to be really relaxed until after SPM results are released.
But heck no! Everyone seems so concerned about their test/assessments grades.
I'm almost failing some of my tests, and I don't even give a shit.
Which is why I came to a conclusion : maybe I'm not an A-Level material after all!
I should have just chosen the liberal life of CIMP (canadian pre-u).
They have twice the number of holidays that we have! bloody hell...
And I'm having way too many extra activities up my sleeves.
I just can't friggin help it! Everything in college seems so bloody interesting!
This is like THE ULTIMATE socializing level we're at.
So, I'm going bananas over all the extra stuff WHILE I CAN.

Okay... Enough about college.
Yesterday, I was glued for a couple of hours on YouTube.
Not because of Russel Peters...
Nor was it because of Dane cook....
Or hilarious parodies (I tune in to YouTube for laughter, beats taking Prozac :D)

It's because of this extremely "interesting" person.

Looks familiar?
Rings any bell?
Are you going "OMG, gorgeous eyes!" or "She's hott..."
Who's that you ask?

It's Chris Crocker!

"Leave Britney alone!!! I mean it!!!" *sob*sob*

Now do you remember??
Oh come on! It was all over the news a couple of months ago.
Okay, AGES ago actually. But I just stumbled upon a jaw-dropping reveal.

Chris is NOT a nickname for Christina, Christabel, Chrissy, Chrisasasa or whatever...
Just CHRIS. Are there controversial questions swimming in your mind right now?

It's a MAN!
Yes, with the dings and whatever dongs!

Freaky fan lying in a Britney "pool" (her/his claims).

This may come to no surprise to many, but I was effing shocked!!!

That's because I stumbled upon that video first.
Watch it. There're a number of pictures of what seems to be a hot blonde with gorgeous blue eyes.
Turns out to be a freaking man!
I was so intringued till I spent the next 2 hours looking through his/her self-made videos.
it'schriscrockerchannel - visit. seriously. it's effing interesting.]
knock yourself out.

The world's a fcking hilarious place to live in.

Toodles.

Taggity Tag

Okay okay I'll do your tag...
You're like asking for compliments =.=

1) The person who tagged you is :
ZhuoLi aka Big Head, a big mean ol' chap!

2) Your relationship with him/her is :
he's the bully and i'm the victim. hmph!

3) Your first impression of him/her is :
LMAO! this question totally brings back memories!
*switches on grandmother story mode*
about 4 years ago mr. big head and i were classmates. totally strangers, and at that time i wasn't very fond of chinese school students (because they were so rowdy, you've gotta admit that!) so anyway, i was the class deco rep. so, i was supposed to collect materials from totally reluctant peeps to display on our info board. when i saw mr big head's article, it was a lil crappy and inappropriate xD so i gave it back to him. i was so shocked at what he did next...
crumpled the paper, grunted loudly and threw it on the floor in front of me (luckily not AT me!). so much like a female's bitch fit.
my first impression : what a grumpy fella! and those eye brows are really intimidating...

wonder if you remember this incident, big head?

4) The most memorable moments with him/her :
all i can remember is how much he bullied me! oh, and the time he taught me how to set.

5) The most memorable thing he/she has said to you is :
"*evil laughters* you're so short!"

6) If he/she becomes yr lover, you will :
die at a very young age due to high blood pressure, and possibly a cardiac arrest...
kidding laa

7) If he/she became yr lover, what should he/she improve at :
very ironic question... STOP BULLYING ME.

8) If he/she becomes yr enemy, what would you do :
creep into his house and secretly shave off his eyebrows when he's asleep xD

9) If he/she becomes yr enemy, the reason will be :
because i've had enough of physical and mental torture! (on the verge...)

10) The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is :
shave his eyebrows xD nah... um... hmm, i don't know. what do you want, big head?

11) Your overall impression on him/her :
8/10

13) The characteristic you love most about yourself :
my free-spirited enegy and eagerness to take part in anything, including the extremes

14) The characteristic you hate most about yourself :
being an occasional emotional wreck

15) The most ideal person you want too be is :
hmm... very very tough question... honestly i have no friggin idea.

16) For people that care and like you, say something to them :
i love you guys! thanks for lending a shoulder for me to lean on :) xoxo

I'm not gonna tag anyone :) cause I know how annoying it can be sometimes *coughcough*
Wait... Tag you back, ZhuoLi, since you're so eager to do tags!

*sobs*
Jason Mraz's getting ready to perform right now, and I'm stuck here.
GEEZ!

toodles

Golly Bizzare...

Foo Fighters - Good Grief

Megan Fox is a MAN!!!

I couldn't believe my ears when a friend of mine cooly said that it is now proven that one of the hottest chick on planet Earth, is a tranny.
Looks like all those sick boy fantasies just jumped off a high rise building. Eh, guys?

So I did some research to see if it's really true...
Knowing there would be millions of envious girls who would just come up with anything.

Weekly World News reported :

Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee. From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s clothing. When having a preacher lay hands on him did not ‘cure’ him of these interests, his parents simply put him on the pageant circuit.

By the age of 13, Mitchell had already started a career as a female child performer called ‘Megan Fox’. Making her debut on an Olsen Twins straight-to-video release, the twins have kept his secret all this time.

As a sweet 16 present, Fox’s parents offered him sexual reassignment surgery, which, given their child’s career, they’d hoped to write off as a business expense. Unfortunately laws prohibit such surgery to be done to minors.

Since then Megan has been working non-stop, and been included on many Hottest Women lists in publications around the world.

You can read the rest from the website, go Google it.
I think it all started from the stuff she said at the Golden Globes during her interview with Julianna Rancic, saying "I'm a tranny possing as Alan Alda..."
Don't ask me if I think it's true or not.
Because I have no darn idea, seriously.
To me, if you take a close look, she does look a lil tranny.
But her figure kinda strikes out the odds, doesn't it??

I have to say, WWN is effing entertaining.
Although most of their stories aren't exactly true... but they have effing hilarious stuff to read!
For example....
OBAMA INAUGURATION UFO SPOTTED!
Wtf?! That's some funny shit right there *in a southern accent*
Beats reading the International Herald Tribune... (my GP lecturer's so gonna kill me if he reads this :/)

Geez... I'm supposed to dig into my GP essays, yet I'm compelled to update about a sexy bombshell gone tranny.
Been having trouble setting my priorities straight lately.
And I'm kinda wondering how on mother Earth am I gonna manage all these manics.
I'm being ripped off my time and ka-ching at every moment.
For today, I'm about to have RM150 ripped off my pockets thanks to being ol' panicky me.
It's too embarassing to state here. I'm still reliving that 2 minutes and figuring out how I allowed my nerves to get through me.
I doubt it was due to Long Island the night before.
Bet it takes less than 10 hours for that to wear off... Gee I hope.

So anyway, things have been the same ol same, except more workload and responsibility.
The musical is starting to kick off, and I've gotta dedicate more time on that.
My seniors have finally stepped down from a-levels student council, and it's our turn on the roller-coaster ride.
A semester may sound too short for service, but I heard it feels like a lifetime.
And I have no friggin idea how I landed as the assistant secretary.
Paperwork and Stephanie do not get along. I think most of you would agree.
Fingers crossed, I guess a change would be good. For experience sake.

I have so many things to do, yet I'm procrasinating at every chance I get.
Mom keeps pushing me to apply for scholarship as the SPM results release date draws closer. OMG!
Plus the IMPAC esssay writing competition adds on to the havoc.
A free trip to Dublin sounds far too delicious to pass on :D

Blah. I better scurry off.
On to another temporary hiatus.
I'll do your tag another day, ZhuoLi :D
Heh :)