Play, Fast-Foward, Rewind

Still finding it difficult to fit in class.

Still can't communicate with the girls.

Can't seem to laugh along with their jokes either.

We're like vibrating in different wavelengths.

I don't get what they are talking about,

and they don't get what I'm talking about.

There's this ONE girl who was really nice to me.

We hit it off pretty alright, but our conversation would end,

one way or another due to language barrier.

This sucks. Wish I knew Chinese better.

Plus, the people I think I can actually really talk to are some of the guys -.-

as in, without a language barrier...

But they're ALWAYS in a pack...

And there seems to be a river dividing guys & girls in class...

Almost EVERY single class.

Just like back in Pre-School. It's sad! :(

Lately I just gave up & stopped trying.

Cause maybe I was trying to hard.

So, I might have come off too strong.

In an annoying way perhaps :s

So I've been pretty quite, setting a goal to finish that 2.5yrs.

Hopefully, without any kind of DRAMA :/

I'm waiting, desperately, for the Student Council registration to open.

My uni social life is EXTREMELY deprived!

But thank God for lovely friends outside of the Uni circle! <3

Recently I discovered something really cool,

but I don't have a webcam to try it out...

It's called ChatRoulette!

You get to meet & video chat with strangers around the globe.

But there's a catch...

You would (almost) definitely bump into wankers/perverts/flashers/etc...

But of course, there's a "NEXT" button for you to terminate the convo.

If you can overlook all that mental torture...

It can be pretty cool. Some people are just hilarious!
Oh oh! Even Ben Folds is on occasionally.

AWESOME :D

Dying to try it out, gotta get my laptop first.

Stupid Dell Refurbish Promo is sooooo difficult to get through... PFFT!

Anyhoo... COOKING PLANS on Saturday!

MommyDearest will be away for her Awards Ceremony thingy.

So I'll be in charge of feeding PapaBear & the two little retarded cubs >:p

Chicken Casserole & Ratatouille!

Yes, the one from that Pixar movie about ze RAAATTT!

Gonna try making that, but it's a vegetarian dish.

Will prolly do a slight spin on it and add BACON! :D

Whoooots! Shall post pictures soon (:

TOOOODLESS! :B

Love, if you're (still) reading my blog.

This is for you...

Reliant Escape

Things have not been going too well...

Though I try my best to keep afloat.

Just right above the surface so I could breathe.

Been escaping in a fog.

A fog that would harm me, sooner or later.

Usually people claim that they CAN'T stop.

Not sure if that's an excuse...

But I know I can, I just DON'T WANT to.

I had the weirdest dream last night.

There was a huge crowd of familiar faces.

Friends. Close & acquaintances.

We were all gathered, to be judged.

Our names were called upon, and we had to stand in lines.

One by one, my fellow friends walked towards their assigned lines.

Finally my name was called, and I didn't budge.

I vividly remembered what I said...

"I confess, and I admit my mistakes. But I do not regret it. It was not beyond my control. I chose to commit it. Thus, I am not a hypocrite..."

All eyes set upon me with heat of judgement.

Then it blurred....

I woke up and felt cold sweat down my spine.

Fear. I believe...

Still unsure about what that dream TRULY meant.

But I suppose I'm escaping judgement.

Escaping the truth... and escaping myself.

This is not my first mind boggling dream.

Been having sleepless nights.

So the rest of the day feels like a limbo.

I need some time off this world.

I really wanna fly off somewhere remote.

Somewhere different.

Somewhere calm.

Somewhere to escape all this.

I wish I could just hop on a private jet,

and set forth to Bermuda islands,

or even hibernate at the Himalayas.

In hopes to blend in there,

and never come back.

If life could be that simple.

I hate feeling complicated.

And so messed up...

untangle me...

It Ain't Crazy After All...

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

I have found my ultimate saviour.

Something I could read to soothe my aching soul.

Liz Gilbert did what I wanted to do so badly...

Travel around the world for soul searching!

Now I realised, it's not a crazy thought...

That is now my ultimate goal :)

First off... Set out to buy "Eat, Pray, Love"!

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)