Slumber of Chaos

~Slumber of Chaos~

I'm sick and i'm tired. And all i want is to sleep peacefully for at least 4 hours a day. But i friggin' mind won't let me. I often doze off into pitts of chaos. My mind refuses to rest peacefully. I just woke up from a nap, which i really had to take coz' my head is starting to heat up. When i woke up, I find myself staring into blank space thinking about nuts (no, not balls). And by the time i snap out of it, 5 minutes has passed by. I think i have mild trauma from nightmares. Because i tend to think about it a lot, and it bothers me at times. I wouldnt say my nightmares revolves around silly things like ghosts, monsters or school incidents.... you know what i mean.

My nightmares often contains deaths, murders, lies and cons, conspiracy.... most of the time - end of the world and how it effects me. Actually it's not exactly the end of the word cause i have no idea how it's like, how do i explain it? Hmm, debris everywhere, dead bodies lying here and there, and i'm the only one left on the planet with a solitary company. There's something for me to do. Like a certain responsibility, which i find ridiculous (in the dream). Whenever i dream of death, sometimes it's someone i do not know, but somehow i feel like i have a connection with that person. And most of the time, i feel like it's trying to connect to me and tell me something. Plus, i have to do something related to it after that! Besides that, dreams of lies, cons and conspiracy keeps loading my mind, which i would wake up in anger and sometimes - hate. Loads of dreams that are trying to tell me something. It's too complicated for me to understand, but i know something is there. Even when i dream of comething CASUAL, it will turn complicating in the end, no matter what!

It really disturbs me mentally! It's so mind boggling! It's not really often, but it's frequent enough to make me so darn sleepy. Sometimes i feel so drained out mentally, all i wanna do is just faint - blank! Why do my nightmares or typical dreams have to turn out so complicated? There's always a twist at every angle. My head hurts so bad right now. Resulted from the dream i just woke up in about 20 minutes ago. That was one of the most disturbing dreams i've had. Not scary, but freaky. Even the word freaky wouldnt describe it fully.

~OK, FREEZE AND REWIND! I sound mentally unstable now. Which i don't think i am coz it only affects me some delusions a while after i wake up. Then of course feeling sleepy throughout the day due to unpeaceful nights, which i think is totally normal right? RIGHT?? Should i seek help? Or am i still a little woozy coz i just woke up not long ago? I'm feeling that i think too much. Arggh!!! It hurts.

*~*~*~*scribbles and scrams*~*~*~*