Scalpel and Stiches 1

Joe Purdy - Far Away Blues

Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor (Day 1)
Exposure to Medical Career Program (something like that xD)

I feel like kicking myself in the arse, if only I could reach.
GRR... I just let a totally fcking awesome chance slip off my fingers!!!

So, today was the first trip to Hospital Putrajaya.
Being the usual me, I was all excited, full of hope and expectations.
Reached there with an empty stomach and was in no mood for hospital food whatsoever.
I was fretting about what to wear the day before, and seems like I didn't have to bother.
Saw students with vast range of dress code, from a billion dollar broker to "I just fcking woke up!"
In other words, some were dressed overly formal (with blazers and coats) whereas others were overly casual.
Those who came in super casual are geniuses!
We were released at 10.30am.
I was like, WTF?!
You make us come all the way to friggin Putrajaya for a friggin taklimat and that's it??
Sigh... I'm just really pissed that I totally missed the oppurtunity of witnessing a surgery at the Operation Theater!

I didn't actually mind that the session was so darn short.
I'm really really really EXTREMELY bummed and won't be able to get over it for a long time.
There were more than a hundred of us, so we were divided into groups.
Then, the officer En Mahmud, asked us to pick a group leader.
This is the part that I dislike the most...
I was contemplating whether to volunteer myself...
Thinkin about the consequences and how would it benefit me.
Let's just say I took too long to decide and finally chickened out.
Another girl voiced out and volunteered decently, and we were fine with it.
So all is well...

UNTIL...
En Mahmud revealed there was a "reward" for these volunteered/elected/forced group leaders.
Immediately, I went "SHIT..."
Apparently, he planned a personal trip around the hospital, including to restricted areas, for the group leaders only.
That's not all, there's a SHWEEET ICING ON THE CAKE.
They get to watch a procedure in the OT!

Deep down in my cerebral I was screaming like an opera singer, standing at the peak of ze mountain.
And I wanted to kill myself, litterally!!!!
I might snag a bottle of cyanide from the hospital tomorrow to drown myself.
Or feed myself to cannibals, Jean's generous idea.
That's how FRUSTRATED I am!!!
Urgghh... People were asking me to "get over it".
It ain't easy. If you really know me, you'll know why.
I'm been dreaming to watch a procedure at a hospital ever since I was a Grey's Anatomy fanatic.
Just when I got that chance, I friggin let it go.
Damn it damn it damn it!!!


I'm all out of mood today...
Kinda disappointed with the program's schedule too.
It's pretty short. I expected it to take the whole day till 5pm.
But most days it's like a 3-4 hours session only.
Visits to wards and different specialize room.
Maybe it's too soon to be totally let down.
I'm just really bummed about missing the trip to the OT.
So I'm pretty much bummed about everything due to that.
Sigh... I really do hope tomorrow will brighten things up.
My group will be visiting the morgue and forensics.
May blood and gore cheer me up then :p

Toodles...