Pot Kettle Black, Honey!

Baby's back! Yes, he's alive :p After a week of mental torture for me! Well, his reasons (*screams excuses* :p) were rather acceptable. Omg I'm such a sucker for sweet talks.

Had a good long chat with sweetheart over a cup of Java Chip @ Starbucks. Haven't laughed so much in a long while. He was telling about his interesting trip to Korea and how he misses Malaysian food, just after a week. How on Earth is he gonna survive in India? Go figure. And he actually prefers the effing humid weather here. SERIOUSLY GO FIGURE! Such an oddball :)

Finally bought a bag after 2398943817324347 years! Since my bag is already starting to disintegrate, about time I get one. I have an addiction of looking at bags, but somehow can't bring myself to buy any. Well, the first reason is I can't find any that's decent looking enough. As in right size, colour, design, etc. And if I do, I might need to rob to purchase it. So yeah, you can never get the best of both worlds. So I guess I'm damn lucky today to find one that's decent and reasonable. STASHED IT IMMEDIATELY (almost...) Can't describe how relieved baby was to know that he doesn't have to be dragged into every bag store for a "look-see". Heh, think again, sweetheart! An addiction is not called an addiction for no apparent reason :D

Anyhoo, we were exchanging stories about how out of hand relatives can get. And well, although I didn't go back to Penang this year, I still hear plenty of nonsense. I'm rather pissed at those who accused me of complete nonsense for not going back. Just because of the whole HOOHAA about V-Day falling on CNY. Like I said, it's a big no-no for a Chinese to not go back during CNY, and I was bad-mouthed. My poor mummydearest had to step in for damage control, and she did groan about how her throat has gone dry and I have got to go back next year. Piiiisshhh. Just to see you hypocrites? Oh sure... The drama is so "worth it" eh?

Just because I'm from the generation labeled notorious/rebellious/tainted/spoilt/sometimes promiscuous, doesn't mean I am one. If you're all prude, I get it. But come on! I know stuff that you people committed waaaaay back in your younger days. Yes, people talk. Middle-aged women LOVE to talk. Relatives = largest gossip circle. I know... A LOT! So don't ask me to respect the "traditional ways" when ya'll didn't stick to it decades ago. Man, I practice waaay better than any of you do. And mind you, I was nerding out during the holidays, though it's so hard to believe. So, just shove your ridiculous judgements up your saggy asses!

If I compiled all the darkest secrets, I could make a sitcom. And damn! I would make big bucks, God forbids! I'm not the type who would diss about my own family, because I believe in 'blood is thicker than water... yada yada'. But what I hate most is to be accused of something I'm not. Or intentions misinterpreted. Had too much of that bullshit last year already, so this time I'm standing up for myself. Much thanks to someone who has taught me so well... So, one last straw from them, and I ain't gonna be quiet about it. Like my mummydearest always say... "Kee women are loud, aggressive and defensive. So, don't mess with em!"

Don't provoke the claw outta me, or I'm gonna feed you with some! >:p

At The Gate; I Wait

The clock keeps ticking; time's a wasting.

So I just found out that baby's flight will touch down at 1950 hour. And how did I know? Nope he didn't tell me. Had to find out through MAS flight schedule on their website. Stalker much? How on Earth can someone place me in such obsession? I feel like I'm tumbling down a spiraled stairs. Seriously... I hate it when I become too attached. Because everytime I do, it doesn't end well. May it be a mutual or love relationship. And I'm on the edge of a cliff once again.

Love makes you do crazy things. Crazy things include : punching a huge hole in your pocket. And dive into stalker/investigator mode (apparently!). Looks like I gotta starve for the rest of next month in order to survive (literally)! Okay, maybe that was, obviously, a little exaggerated. But no kidding, I gotta start saving up like a Jew. Okay, that wasn't funny. I'm not even sure where they came up with that "cheap Jew" joke. Almost every American stand-up comedian I know, have that issue somewhere in their act. Till today, I'm clueless. Almost half as clueless about Redneck jokes.

Anyhoo, I better hear from him by 0000 hour tonight. I'm giving him a four hour window to show me he's still alive, or hasn't run off with some Toufu-skinned Korean, which I would be of no match :/ That's what most of my guy buddies said when I told em' he left on V-Day to Korea for "vacation". Not very comforting, and although I know he wouldn't, you can't help but have a tinge of doubt. I mean, it's human nature. And it's me I'm talking about; doubts and paranoia always linger around. Plus, an entire week of not even a word or a hint? Man, who wouldn't be paranoid? With broadband, global satellite, international roaming and the whole SHEBANG, you gotta question why he hasn't sent a word, attached to a pigeon, over...

So, he better be home safe in one piece and buzz me with a text or I'mma pounce on the first homeless guy I see, pass him the tiny package I splurged on, and tell him "Christmas came early this year. Santa's been watching..."

Toodles! :D

The Day You Knew Would Come

Currently addicted to 'Knocked Up' by Kings of Leon

Bahh! I just found out that most of the universities closing dates for response is in April... YIKES! And LSE hasn't even responded to my application. Apparently they are only gonna respond in late March. Whaaaaat? How am I gonna apply for scholarship then? This is so screwed up. Private organisations only offer financial aid if you've already received an offer from the university. Correction : TOP UNIVERSITY. I'm sorta stuck in a boat that's stranded in the sea. Depending on scholarship alone to decide which uni to head to is scary! What if I wait for LSE's offer and not get it, and the rest of the datelines would be closed by that time, I'll be doomed. There goes the hope to fly over.


I'm so clueless about this because I am the ONLY one in my family who has gone this far to consider. All my cousins studied locally. Being the eldest child doesn't help AT ALL cause' I gotta figure everything out on my own. Asking friends wouldn't be such a resort, paiseh lah... They had to go through the same trouble before. So I should be fussing about this and work it out on my own. But it's such an override! Plus, there are transcripts, certificates and all the SHEBANG to send over. And student visa to apply for. OMG. What did I put myself into?! T.T

This is soooo me to panic about it. How I wish baby was hear to calm me down... He would definitely say "Everything is gonna be alright. Don't worry. You'll make it through..." Okay, picturing him saying that isn't the same! The warm smile and comfort is missing. Sigh. I miss him. Haven't talked to him at all for almost 5 days now. No contact whatsoever, NADA! Dum dum didn't even bring his phone or a roaming device over. He's like over the boarders, and I have no clue if it's even safe there. Sam Sam texted me to tell me that North Korea is in major disagreement with South Korea and United States of America plans to retaliate by military assault. WTF man (Jamaican style :p) That ain't gonna help me sleep at night. Baaah. I should stop thinkin nonsense :x

The heat is getting to my head. It's burning! Baby's enjoying the cooling weather in Korea. Okay, I'm the dum dum here who's whining about everything *smacks self!*

On another (sour) note, the problem I expected to surface somehow, did. Just when I knew that we were gonna face each other again, and all consequences would come haunting again. I'm so comfortable in whatever that I'm having now, I'm not willing to ruin that. And to avoid dragging everyone else into this awkward situation, it's for the best. So just like I've planed, I'm gonna backdown. I feel like a fool doing so, but if doing the right thing makes you a fool. Well, then a fool I shall be. I'm just gonna take the highroad and avoid all conflicts. Unfortunately this is not how others would view it. Because even your closest people would think the worst out of you. Oh well, a silent sacrifice would mean a lot when a priceless outcome appeals in time to come :)

Like feeding a family of stray cats with canned cat food yesterday :D My family and I were having dinner at Nando's @ Atria. A little kitty was practically begging for food. I couldn't help it anymore, went over to Giant to buy a can of food. The little kitty munched on it happily. Made my day :)

^^ Pretty little things in life ^^

Oh! And if you're feeling a little blue, something to make you laugh, or at least smile...

The Oatmeal

Read the one about Twilight and Zombies. Total LOL piece of art :D
Enjoy!

toodles :)

To A Purrr-fect Year Ahead

Roar! Roar! :D
Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

And of course...
Happy Valentine's Day!

Just came back from a family lunch with my naima. She used to babysit me since I was a little toddler, and my family known her for more than a decade now. She was so persistent to dig me outta the house because she's thinks it's "not right" to be alone on Chinese New Year. Even Bel's mom insisted that I go over for dinner because she thinks I SHOULDN'T be home alone. Seems like it's a big NO NO for the Chinese folks to be home alone, without your family during CNY. Scary, but it's a lovely thought :) Anyhoo, I do feel a pinch of regret for not going home with my family. Called PapaBear and MummyDearest last night to wish them, then I felt a rush of regret. When I asked to send my regards to everyone there, they replied, and I could hear them cheering back through the phone. That made me feel even worse! I miss everyone. I miss the gambling session, the gossiping in Hokkien, the GOOD GOOD DAMN GOOD FOOD, the illegal fireworks... Sigh, everything! This sacrifice better be worth it. To top it all up, I've barely started with my studies. Schedule was a little disrupted. So yeah. Gotta start kicking myself in the butt. Or not, those sacrifice would be all for NOTHING.

Sigh. Baby is flying off to Korea today. Blurr piggy, mixed up his flight schedule and thought it was yesterday evening. Bleh. We could have spent yesterday celebrating our 9th monthlyversary. Like OMG. It's been 9 months! Time flies by so fast, it's scary! But I'm so glad things are working out just fine. More than fine actually. I'm so swept off my feet till sometimes I have to pinch myself to pull me back to reality. Feeling sore about him leaving for a week, and because I'm alone here. So thinking that in about 6 months time, we'll be apart for years. I don't know if I can handle that since he hasn't left and I'm already missing him.

Well at least I have this lil furry buddy, that baby gave me, to keep me company :D

Koala because he used to call me that ALL THE TIME before we got together, and look, TY his initials! Though he didn't take notice of the initial thingy...

So, anyway, I've been distracting myself with BAKING!

Fingers were crossed the entire time cause' the OLD oven ain't exactly reliable :s

Chandler BING BING BING! :p

This is the second batch. first one didn't turn out so well. Forgot to add sugar xD and it looked like muffins!

The toughest part!!! ICING!

So frustrating. But I'm so glad it turned out okay. For a person who sucks at art so badly, I would consider this an achievement :D (self-encouragement).

And been spending lots of time experimenting on cooking as well :D
Had a huge success with lunch. Well sorta...

Mushroom Bacon Cream

It's rather easy to make, and I'm suprised how elaborate it tasted. The mixture of flavours from the white button mushroom and the bacon really blended so well. And the onions made it sweet :D

Served it with grilled Ikan Kurau.

Okay you can't really see the fish because I totally flooded it with CREAM :D I call it an ALMOST huge success because it tasted good, but better suited as a Carbonara base. Baby thinks so too. He said it would be great with spaghetti and I should challenge Ms Read's Delicious. I'm pretty sure he's just saying that to make me happy. That's what they always do T.T

Last night's dinner was quite a disaster. My chicken chop didn't turn out so well because it was so darn hard to cook. So I had to recook it twice, and by the end of it I was so hungry till I lost my appetite. Tonight I'll be heading over to naima's again for dinner. She's so persistent! So, tomorrow I shall take a shot on my Mushroom Bacon Carbonara :D Hee!

Looks like my plan to prevent myself from putting on weight has FAILED terribly... :p

Hi-Paw everyone :) Have a wonderful year ahead! PURRRR....

Another major celebration has come,
and that piece of puzzle is still missing...
To that missing puzzle,
wish you lots of happiness,
from the deepest edge of my heart :)

The Rock and The Missing One

If i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me
if you knew my story word for word
had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me

i did before and had my share
it didn't lead nowhere
i would go along with someone like you
it doesn't matter what you did
who you were hanging with
we could stick around and see this night through

Peter, Bjorn, John - Young Folks

Everyone's leaving for holidays, while I'm staying behind for "Damage Control". Have to do some serious fixing or I'm bound to fail Further Maths. Not an easy decision to make, it's like a major crime not to go back to my hometown for CNY. Bet my aunties are gossiping about it as we speak. They even accused me of staying back because of my boyfriend. I mean, come on! He's not even gonna be around. Baby's flying off to Korea on Valentine's Day :( I strongly dislike how CNY falls on everything important this year! CNY eve falls on our 9 months 'monthly-sary'. He's flying off on V-Day! Even if he's around, Cho Yat (1st day of CNY) will keep us home with our families. So yeah, the dates are all just messed up! Been making baby feel extremely guilty about leaving on our first V-Day together xD nyeheheh! But I think I punished him enough already. That's if he remembers to bring back some authentic KIMCHII for me :D

Anyhow, I've come to realise that I'm actually pretty alright with it that everyone will be away. Just needed to be alone for a week. Been so caught up with so many things, it's a crazy rollercoaster ride! Really need to set my mind straight before my head gets to stuck up in the cloud. I have so much to clear off my To-Do list, and it has been backdated for some years. I guess this week's break is the perfect time for me to get it done. Though it's gonna be eerily quiet since KL is practically empty during CNY... I can't wait to finally have some peace. Then I can blast the music and drown my entire town and not get arrested! Been listening to way too much music lately and been overwhelmed by EARGASM :D But yeah, emo songs mostly. Even Nick managed to sense that I've been listening to emo&sappy songs. But of course, I'm always in denial :s Was a perfect time for me to watch all the GossipGirl episodes that I missed out too. But I couldn't help myself and finished them before the holidays even started xD After the the backlashing, bitching, stabbing, hissing and gnawing, S&B can somehow look through it. Hmm... TV shows have a load of bullshit doesn't it? :s And OMG Chuck Bass is like totally irresistible! (shh...)

Celebrated Nutty's Bday at RedBox yesterday. Never had so much fun in a karaoke session before. Everyone was practically screaming their hearts out. It's like a moment for all to let loose. Our plan worked out so well, cause thankfully Nutty's not the most cunning person on Earth xD She's such a sweetheart. I lost count of how many times she thanked us! Anyway, it was a blast! Been a while since I had a good quality with a bunch of people, without booze and drowning music as part of the picture...

Anyhooo... I gotta get going. Gonna drop by Nutty's to grab something important. Gonna be stuck home all day in an inferno! I hope my plans turn out well today...

Flour(check), butter(check), caster sugar(check), icing mix(check)... A level of expertise(UNCHECK UNCHECK UNCHECK)

*fingers crossed*

Gnawing Me Fingers Off

According to Nuffnang, my full name was Googled 11 times today. I'm not sure if I should be flattered or worried :/

ARGH. Been rushing home almost everyday to check my inbox.

You have no mail...

I hate that word!! Agonizingly waiting for two more universities to reply, and it's killing me softly. London School of Economics (LSE) has already mailed most of my friends, but me! Did they even receive my application? Waiting makes me nervous! I hate waiting... Not that I'm impatient, just that waiting makes me all nervous, sweaty, paranoid and I would feel like GNAWING MY FINGERS OFF. Okay, maybe that's a major sign of being impatient :S

Got all my breakdown of marks, *phew* I'm not in trouble. Thankfully, at ALL! :D Can't exactly sail through A2, but not exactly in deep shit either. Now all I have to do is start digging into Further Maths, and start passing up some homework, or Mr Lee won't stop pounding me with his sarcasm. Sam used to tell me how he enjoyed Mr Lee's class cause' he's so cute. Never really got the picture until today xD Try using Chinese (Cantonese) metaphor translated directly to English to humour your class, also consist of an Indian, a Mongolian and an Iranian. Go figure! xD

I woke up with a huge sense of relieve today. Somehow felt a change, and my conscience tells me that things are gonna be alright, if I look at it that way. I'm through with the tidal of waves, and currently sailing by watching the beautiful sunset with a heart full of hope. Bring on the next one, I'll face ya with all my might or like how Muhammad Ali keeps rolling in the punches!

I'll float like a butterfly and sweeten you up like a honey bee xD

Sailing off...

Katie Melua - If You Were A Sailboat

If you were a cowboy, I would trail you
If you were a piece of wood, I’d nail you to the floor
If you were a sailboat, I would sail you to the shore
If you were a river, I would swim you
If you were a house, I would live in you all my days
If you were a preacher, I’d begin to change my ways

Sometimes I believe in fate
but the chances we create
always seem to ring more true
you took a chance on loving me
I took a chance on loving you

La Bella Vita

Lindsay Lohan - Beautiful Life

God wont talk to me
I guess He's pretty busy lately
I'd like to believe
He's listening

I'm starting to feel
All of my bruises imagined are real
And I'll get through each day
I dig through the bad ones
To get to the good ones
Who's keeping score anyway?

And this is my beautiful life
only thing certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive
It's a beautiful life

I talk in my sleep
Thats the one place i know no one can hear me
I tell myself things
Don't walk in the shadows
There's always tomorrow
And I'm right where i wanna be

It hurts while it's happening
I wanna feel everything
How can you know til you try?
And this is my beautiful life

My beautiful life
only thing's certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive
It's a beautiful life

Looks like the point is not taken. All I asked was compromise and understanding. Yet the blame game is still in play. I guess some things are just not worth fighting for. Least I don't hold any grudges and I don't deny my mistakes. To find out it was backdated for years... and many new & unexpected issues keeps popping up... changes things. Thanks for giving me the reason to stop holding on. Have shed my last tear for you. And it's a sign for me to move on. Of all goodbyes, this is one I never wanted to make no matter how ugly it went. But like what's said, one call with no receiving end, would all mean for nothing. Shall keep the memories that meant the most to me. But I am still human, a wound is a wound, and time seems to be the only remedy. Regrets I have many, but meeting you wasn't one, am so very glad it wasn't. People change, and this is a darn difficult fact to accept.

Just like how Grabrielle Solis released a red helium-filled balloon as a metaphor of releasing the grief of losing her conceived child. I shall release seven colours of the rainbow, to represent the number of years that I have known you, with a heavy heart. I sincerely hope your life turns out the way you wished for. I would honestly admit that mine hasn't, because a fraction of the picture is definitely missing.

Anyhow, Only thing certain is everything changes...