If Only Generic...

Got a kick in my rear end.

Things don't always go your way. And good news somehow comes with a sore spot.

Finally got the offer I've been waiting for, but the requirements seem almost impossible to reach. Nah, actually it IS possible. Just that I have LOTS to sacrifice. And I gotta work extra hard. Which means more late nights, and a snip off in my social life. Haven't gone out, as in GONE OUT for a while now. Which is why I'm so counting on this Saturday's night out to be my last before I enter the war zone.

I know I can do better, but I've been so into my lazy comfort zone, that I forgot how important it was to try. That's till I got the hard kick in the butt. I really hope it's not too late to do something about it now. I'm pretty left behind in Further Maths, which I have to ace. Not an easy subject to take on your own without proper guidance. Doubt I can pick it up overnight miraculously like how I've handled Add Maths years before. I've been telling myself, week after week after week, SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND DO SOMETHING. Seriously... Easier said than done. There's just so much to handle, it's crazy. The seniors were right, A2 is hell.

I'm probably just being all whiny about it once again. My mind is totally digging all sorts of excuses to tell me that it's impossible, so why fuss about it... But this is such a sweet, delicious, life-changing, adventurous, stupendous, splendid, marvelous opportunity and I'd be a fool to let it slip off! I can't even imagine, what would it be like to be over the sea, miles away, with different people, different culture, and it's like a whole new world. Maaan... I'm talking about London, baby! Been dying to go there since I was a lil' kid. What more study there.

BAH! Life truly isn't easy. Who the hell designed it that way? If only life could be a breeze. Ah, don't we all wish it would be rainbows and ponies all over...

I finally got my opportunity, and this is the one time I feel like I just can't make it. Just have the sickest feeling in my gut that I'm gonna screw it up. So now I'm spiraling down this shit hole, trying to figure out what to do.

Struggle like a stallion, or float away like a dandelion in the wind; and hope to land on another dream?

Decisions... Decisions... What did I get myself into, again, this time?

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

[Coldplay - The Scientist]