...because talking has lost its magic

LINK

May Vanilla Overpower It

Been baking a lot lately.
Almost consecutively...
Mom's about to go berserk if I keep invading her kitchen xD
This new thing has helped me kill boredom...
And some angst...

It started off with a birthday present for my brother. Didn't know what to get him (teenage boys are difficult -.-) So I thought, why not just bake him a cake. Almost coincidentally I saw Nigella Lawson's brillant Flourless Chocolate cake on Asian Food Channel (AFC). My current guilty pleasure, till wee hours in the morning! :D

Super sweet chocolate mixture. Note to self : If it's not UNsweetened baking chocolate, NEVER put sugar, even though the recipe stated it's necessary. Western bakers have such sweet tooth I tell ya!

Since I'm such an amateur, I didn't know how to keep the parchment paper intact before filling the dish up with dough. So out came the LAUNDRY PEGS! :D (later found out you can rub butter on the dish before placing the parchment paper, sorta like glu *hides self* :x)

45 minutes later... TAADAA! This is completely FLOURLESS! Well, I didn't have any flour at that time, so I decided to try. It does look a lil burnt, but that's the best part!

Looking like a failed attempt when I flipped it over... So here's a trick (not really xD). Hide em scars with ICING! (lots of em!)

Taadaaa... Okay, not a good job either xD I have no idea how those bakeries make such SMOOTH and GLOSSY icing...! It's a pain to spread the icing!

Final product! For a person who sucks at art so so bad, I'll just pat myself on the back for not smudging everything xD The cake finished in two days. Which I'm glad, but it made me wanna make more...

So I tried Joybaking.com's recipe for Chocolate Brownies...

The recipe isn't exactly different, except I used less eggs and added flour this time. It looks more glossy...

Looks much better this time around, less parchment paper fuss. Because I found out that I only needed to put a base, and just grease the sides. Less origami nonsense :p

Soak the brownies with Chocolate Sauce (DIABETES ALERT!). And let it cool for a moment.

Serve it while is hot and when the chocolate sauce is ooozing into the brownies :D

Went craaaazyy again today, made cupcakes.
This one was a lil obligatory. Long story. Won't even bother...

Vanilla Flavoured Cupcakes

With Chocolate Flavoured Cupcakes

Burning in a really ancient oven...

These were for the boyfriend to bring home. He actually helped out pretty well :) (for a guy... :x)

A design I learned on YouTube :)

Yeah I've gone lazy on the details xD The violet colour didn't turn out very well. Looks a little icky on camera, but it looks much better in real life. I need to get a good camera. Still wishing on that DSLR I've wanted for ages. But ever since the boyfriend had one, I didn't feel it was necessary for me to get one :p But now he's leaving. And he's bringing his NEW BLACK SHINY GIRLFRIEND along with him. Pfftt...

True I've gone psycho on baking. But it's therapeutic somehow. This is now my new therapy :D

Next one : Lemon Non Bake Cheesecake!
WHOOT WHOOT!

scurries off...

Well, I haven't heard from you.
You prolly don't care anymore.
Yes, I was suppose to beep you on the moment to talk.
But I was caught up, and now it's awkward to bring it up again.
So there it's left hanging...

As for you, what were you expecting me to say?
I mean, really? What was I (suppose) to say??

Of No Return

I'm sorry.

I'm still offended/hurt/stripped off my trust...

You meant that much.

I thought you were raw and genuine.

But, the mark never leaves.

And you, using me again to escape your own shithole.

Well, I'm done cleaning up your mess.

Don't go on a social hiatus and suddenly ask me for help.

Like a convenient 'bootycall'.

Except deceit is much dirtier than cheap sex.

Just as I thought my recent rant would cool things off.

And then I get a double blow...

From these two.

People sometimes disappoint you.

But as humans, we can't stop falling into..

the same darn blackhole.

One Last Note of Sorrow

It's less than 3 weeks away till I start my uni course...
Although I can't wait to NOT have to sit at home so much,
I'm not exactly looking forward to it either.
I remember telling a good friend of mine...
Never settle for something that's second best,
always do what's best for yourself.
Choose something you'll love doing in years to come.
And yet, I'm at a crossroad, where that option doesn't stay open.
I constantly ask myself, is it my fault that I have met the dead end?
Have I not tried hard enough?
Because clearly, I have not come to peace with the whole thing.
Up till now.
Cause as I hear about people flying off soon...
I feel happy for them, sincerely I do...
But at the same time, part of me dies inside, very slowly.
Achingly I wonder, when will it be my time?

I travel a lot. Really I do.
Through my eyes.
From the pictures I see, to the cultural stories I read.
But with a click of a button, it all fades away.
I am desperately trying to find a way to leave this place...
To a beautiful foreign place, where the adventure lies...

Scotland was a chance. But I lost it.
I guess the only option left,
is to work my ass off for the next few years...
Or... marry a 90-year old millionaire,
and wait for him to go into cardiac arrest xD
An old friend's brilliant idea :D
And travel the world as I please...

There's another thing that I'm disappoited about...
Two important people have let me down in some way...
One, whom I thought I've patched things up with,
hasn't seem to learn the lesson.
I am still of no priority, no matter how much I put him/her first.
The other, whom I trusted so much,
because I thought we had that ONE thing in common,
has showed me that 'it's every man for himself'...
Of all people, I thought you would understand.
But I guess in your world, you're "always" the victim.
Or the almighty, while everyone else is supposed to please you.

Well, look here,
it takes two to tango...
So before you pin this on me, judge yourself first.

This blog has become my rant outlet xD
For a brighter note, visit my tumblr page.
The amazing photos there are so inspirational...

An Odd Collision

Spoke to a stranger today.

One might say I've shared too much information.

But heck, it felt more connected compared to some whom I've known for years.

A stranger is interested in what you have to say.

There's equal sharing of thoughts.

Unlike some, who would flood you with their own.

Regardless of what you have to say...

It's nice to have fresh new opinions.

And not being judged.

Especially from someone who's from a different part of the world.

Who knows just what to say.

It's sad to figure that I have to confide to a complete stranger,

to know that my thoughts are worth listening to...

Ah well...

On a lighter note...

I have a project in hand.

One that I have planned out, but have yet to execute.

I need to start printing photographs and messages.

For a person who's art-illiterate (if there's such a thing),

this would be a tough task.

And I'm still figuring out how to operate the Adobe CS5.

It has been driving me nuts!

I'mma give up very soon...

Hopefully I'll get to finish this project by end of the month.

That's less than 2 weeks away.

Eek... Seems impossible.

I better get started...

toodles.

one month till uni starts. not really looking forward to it...

Shackles On Ground Zero

I'm freaking out about my results.

I bet everyone has checked, while I'm restraining myself.

Not till noon... Not till noon...

No matter what the results are,

it still doesn't change the fact that I'll be stuck here.

It'll be such a kick in the face if my results turn out to be my entry requirement.

At the same time, I want it to be that way.

Gah, such a headache!

One things for sure, I'll never be one of em geniuses who nabbed 4A*s

And there's a handful of them!

Freaky much! The brain pool is overflowing!

While I see comments of people wishing Congratulations...

And "I will see you in (a uni in UK) pretty soon!" was such stab!

Well, I guess it's pretty obvious that I refuse to check it,

because I know whatever the results are... It really doesn't matter.

I won't be cheering like everyone else who's gonna fly off...

I'm chained on this God-damned land...