One Last Note of Sorrow

It's less than 3 weeks away till I start my uni course...
Although I can't wait to NOT have to sit at home so much,
I'm not exactly looking forward to it either.
I remember telling a good friend of mine...
Never settle for something that's second best,
always do what's best for yourself.
Choose something you'll love doing in years to come.
And yet, I'm at a crossroad, where that option doesn't stay open.
I constantly ask myself, is it my fault that I have met the dead end?
Have I not tried hard enough?
Because clearly, I have not come to peace with the whole thing.
Up till now.
Cause as I hear about people flying off soon...
I feel happy for them, sincerely I do...
But at the same time, part of me dies inside, very slowly.
Achingly I wonder, when will it be my time?

I travel a lot. Really I do.
Through my eyes.
From the pictures I see, to the cultural stories I read.
But with a click of a button, it all fades away.
I am desperately trying to find a way to leave this place...
To a beautiful foreign place, where the adventure lies...

Scotland was a chance. But I lost it.
I guess the only option left,
is to work my ass off for the next few years...
Or... marry a 90-year old millionaire,
and wait for him to go into cardiac arrest xD
An old friend's brilliant idea :D
And travel the world as I please...

There's another thing that I'm disappoited about...
Two important people have let me down in some way...
One, whom I thought I've patched things up with,
hasn't seem to learn the lesson.
I am still of no priority, no matter how much I put him/her first.
The other, whom I trusted so much,
because I thought we had that ONE thing in common,
has showed me that 'it's every man for himself'...
Of all people, I thought you would understand.
But I guess in your world, you're "always" the victim.
Or the almighty, while everyone else is supposed to please you.

Well, look here,
it takes two to tango...
So before you pin this on me, judge yourself first.

This blog has become my rant outlet xD
For a brighter note, visit my tumblr page.
The amazing photos there are so inspirational...