Twisted Fate

I twisted me ankle :(
when I was playing futsal.
It's kinda silly... I don't even remember how I sprained it.
Just remembered tackling with the bunch, then CRACK!
The pain was indescribable, seriously.
But fortunately, my team walked away with the Gold medal :)
and I brought an excruciating GOLD home =.=
Was in pain for hours after that.
Now I've gotta walk around like a limping fool.

Thanks guys for your concern :)
Leslie and Bel, you girls are such sweethearts.
They really took the pain away, though only temporarily xD
Aaaaaannnd... There's this hot guy from *coughs*coughs* student council who came to the rescue!
He totally took the pain awwaaaay.
Teehee :D
Bel, I still don't know why you don't find him hot. Hmph :p

Anyway, gotta scurry off.
I still have about 100 jellies more to make.
Charity Sale is ripping the soul outta me.

I need a vacation.
Road trip anyone?? :)

Self Insanity Streak

TEMPORARY HIATUS
DUE TO EXTREME WORK LOAD AND STRESS

WILL RESUME SOON
WHEN AM MORE THAN SANE :D

Ponder Ponder Ponder

Coldplay - Lost!

Shyte...
I'm down that road again...
Thanks to you, I'm bloody confused.
Why are people so odd sometimes???

I'm all out of breath.
Try singing "Negaraku" in Alto range.
It ain't easy!
And I had to look at the sheet of paper while singing.
Kinda forgot the lyrics, after not singing for 5 years :D
Who knew we would actually have to sing that ever again!
Well, thanks to musical... Our national anthem reigns.

Sigh... Debating whether to attend the ball. Ka-ching alert!

Week's gonna end. Do I hear a hoorah?! :D

Sprinkles At the Asylum

Jet - Get Me Outta Here


I wanna fly over to Switzerland and stay there too, you dimwit! >:|

Feeling rather sappy today.
Everyone's flying and "conquering" abroad while I'm still stuck here.
Sigh... *self-convince* My time will come... My time will come...

College has been a drag lately.
With exams around the corner, though far far away, and tonnes of ALSCO projects piling up,
it's only a norm to go insane!
I bet everyone is starting to lose it.
It's like our inner Energizer Bunny has worn off.
And everyday is starting to seem rather dull.
As May, Ainaa and I were scanning the cafeteria (tsk tsk...), we came to a conclusion...
WE NEED SOME SPICE IN LIFE!
Something to make everyday a tad bit more interesting.
We're still brainstorming on that...

I lost the mood to crap.
Really tired.
Just finished designing TEN ticket samples...
Sucked the life outta me!
I had to squeeze my "creative" brain juice out for the past 3 hours...
AND PHOTOSHOP AIN'T HELPING!
Couldn't even watch CSI:Las Vegas in peace (Grissom is leaving! O.O).
Tomorrow's another looooong day.
Thank God for two hours break and luncheon with the peeeeeps :D

SappyHappySappyHappyHappyHappySappySappy...
Apparently Ming thinks I'm overdosed... With God knows what :/

Toodles for now.

Self Reflection

James Morrison - Broken Strings

Bar Celona sucks stinkin' ass.
Bad music. Bad atmosphere. Bad crowd.
Never are we going back there again.
Our eating session after that was ten times better.
Had a nice chat with Bel, Farah and her boyfriend.
Hilarious people.
We were quite tipsy and all, so there was a lot of crapping.
Hopefully Vincent would keep it shut :/
And we were almost attacked by a gigantohumongous rat at A&W.
The way Bel jumped on the chair was funny shit xD
Sorry, Bel, but it was :D

It's Easter Sunday.
And I'm burdened with self reflection.
This is exactly why I try so hard to avoid attending service.
But since I'm grounded and really need to get outta the house
and it's Easter Sunday, I decided to give in.

Yesh. I'm grounded because I came home late on a college morning and only had 3 hours of sleep.
Daddydearest still thinks I'm a little schooling girl.
Well, I ain't gonna complain.
I need a leash to keep me home. Need to set my priorities straight.
Been straying away from work for the past months.
So I'll just suck it up for now.
By the way, sorry guys, for being such a cranky bitch that day.
My head was pounding like crazy...

So anyway... back to Easter Sunday.
Sigh. Millions of questions are flooding in my head.
Where art thou my religious self?
I used to be so devoted and faithful.
Now I'm cynical and filled with denial.
I've tried to open the doors of my heart and return my Father.
Pride has been a huge obstacle.
Denial has been a bigger one.
I miss those times when I didn't have to question the words they preached.
I've been driven away by fear and doubts.
And now am drifting away in the sea.
Feeling lost and out of place.
Neither here nor there.
So I'm self reflecting.
Asking myself. Have my dear Father abandoned me?
Would He still open his arms wide to receive me once again?
And even if He did. Would my stubborn heart reach out to him?
As I sit in shadows of the crowd, feeling out of place.
Feeling like a hypocrite. Like I do not belong.
I know that He would always wait on me.
But I keep asking myself, why don't I just go home???

Lately, people have been asking me about my beliefs.
For which I would answer : I've not been very religious lately.
I'm beginning to think that He's trying to reach out for me.
But I just don't feel like reaching back.
I don't know why.
I have friends asking me to join their cell, talk to the pastors, join youth...
But it's not helping. I have this fear of being judged in a religious point of view.
I have a Bible on my bed stand, but somehow it seems so heavy to even lift.
I would glance at it occasionally, followed by a sleepless night.
Why can't I just pick it up??

I'm having a spiritual battle here.
I don't know who to turn to.
I can't turn to a pastor.
Don't know a suitable friend who would know what to say.
Can't turn to my mom either.
I'm lost.

Why did I go for Easter Sunday?

When I love you,
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking,
It's the voice of someone else

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real

Gesundheit!

Plain White T's - 1, 2, 3 ,4

Am down with a bad cold again...
Due to lack of sleep and rest, this has become a weekly affair :|
Actually, I got caught in the rain yesterday :D
Never ever take your 13-year-old, yet to be hairy though he desperately claims he is, brother's challenge of running in the rain...
As you can see, I lost the challenge... and now I'm walking around with a blotchy nose and a bruised ego.
Hate having a flu. I tend to kill MORE trees, and it seems like I have a pipe leakage hanging on my face.
Not to mention I sound like Fran Descher, from The Nanny...
Plus, every class suddenly feels like the north pole.
Not a very pleasant way to start the week :(
What's worse? I have to be at college by 7.15am tomorrow to help out with the Maths & Logics Competition as a Student Ambassador...
Oooohhh aaaahhh... yeahh... sounds great doesn't it??
But NAHH. Just because we're in the Student Council, we have to plaster a smile on our faces to welcome the visitors.
Hopefully my panda eyes won't kill the joy :/

Albeit my horrible health... I'm looking forward to this week :D
Though it's gonna be tiring tomorrow, it'll be fun to have a break from classes, not that I haven't had enough breaks already.. But yeah!
Hopefully I'll get well by Thursday...
Have an awesome plan ahead with Jean, Bel and ze babes...
I declare : WE NEED A BREAK!
And because our semester exams are around the corner, well... a month away but time flies so darn fast.
So, I guess we're going all out this month :D

La bamba bamba
Livin' the life ^^

Of Hurdles and Possibilities

Bob Marley - Guiltiness

The number of times I screw up amazes me sometimes...
I must learn how to think before I speak.
My tongue slipped twice in three days this week.
One I can not take back, no matter how I try.
The other, I foresee the damage would last for quite a while.
I get so carried away by my emotions sometimes, it scares me.

And I have to stop being so cynical about stuff.
Everything has gone by well for the past weeks, but I just can't help but "anticipate" something negative would swoop by.
Maybe because I'm so used to having disappointments, now that things seem to go by smoothly, I'm feeling really odd :/
I hate surprises...
I just don't know how to react to them.

D, thanks for calling.
Sorry if I reacted the way I did.
Just haven't been quite myself lately.
I'm glad you're back, but you've gotta give me time...


Alright... Enough of crap. I guess some of you are wondering how the JPA interview went...
It went well. Not GREAT nor BAD. But pretty good.
I was lucky enough to get 3 really really nice male interviewers who did the whole session in English. THANK GOD.
I would stumble and stutter if they asked in BM!
From the top, I reached Putrajaya a little later than expected.
And entered the wrong side of the building!
So, I panicked and went kinda haywire when I was searching for the namelist.
Luckily I wasn't the only one, because tonnes of them took the wrong entrance too xD
Which was kinda funny, because I could see some of em parents go nutsy.
Putrajaya is EFFING beautiful, I tell ya!
I felt like I was in a totally different country.
The streets were clean and the parks are actually GREEN!
I was pretty impressed with the administrative building where the interview was held too.
Everything was so organized, and the atmosphere was pretty intimidating!
I dressed rather casual formal, compared to the whole lot.
Many came in blazers, pumps and some even came in OXFORDS!
Well, I was in the Medicine batch, so it's not all surprising.
Was surrounded by doctors-to-be!

Oh, which reminds me, I'm supposed to explain myself.
I decided not to do Medicine. Which means I have to change my choice of course.
Yeah, that's pretty bad. Slashes off my chances of getting the scholarship by half!
I didn't want to state anything here previously, in case it affects my evaluation.
Oh you'll be surprised, people actually Google blogs for dishes.
I think Dr. Shuhaila from Hospital Putrajaya Googled herself, or someone did it for her, and the search stumbled onto my blog.
How did I know? NUFFNANG!
Thank God I didn't say anything negative. Not indicating that there was any to say... :D
Anyway, I had plenty of reasons why I don't want to do Medicine.
I wasn't sure to begin with!
Of course I didn't want to admit that fact, not very convincing to get a scholarship.
So, after the hospital tour, I'm pretty damn sure that I don't want to be a doctor.
But was damn worried about that decision because I had someone say to me :
"If that person's not sure he/she wants to be a doctor, why did he/she join this program in the first place?!"
Cricket creaks replies :D

BACK to JPA interview...
Went in a group of 5.
Initially I thought I was the only chinese in the group.
Then I was damn sure they would ask in malay, and I'm SCREWED!
To my relief, ended up my group consisted of ONE malay girl xD
She was really nice though. Sweet girl.
We actually exchanged contacts by the end of the day.
It's amazing how easily we can meet new people at every opportunity...
Anyway, first they asked us to introduce ourselves.
Family background, academic & extra activities background, financial status... yada yada.
My self introduction was pretty dramatic than it actually is :D
Well, I wasn't the only one. It was so obvious that all of us were fighting for the scholarship!
After that we had a group discussion. They gave us a general knowledge question.
Some of my friends said they got two questions. One for discussion, another to be answered individually.
I guess my group was darn lucky :)
Those were the basic questions...
I had extra "attention" because I was the only one in the room who actually wants to change course.
What's even more mind boggling? From Medicine to Actuarial Science.
Hah. Go figure! It's like I've thrown my opportunity off the building and gone suicidal!
They didn't seem all surprised, but they did have an eyebrow raised when I told them why I didn't want to be a doctor, ANYMORE.
Kinda dissed doctors in a way. Saying how doctors nowadays work like emotionless robots, which made them laugh.

I think it's VITAL to make the interviewers laugh! It eases the whole room, seriously!
So yeah, I had a lot of explaining to do.
Can't remember what else I said, but they seem pretty convinced.
I thought my hurdle was over.
THINK AGAIN. They asked the next tough question....
Why Actuarial Science?
One of the interviewer added extra spice into the question.
Why not STATISTICS instead?
I had billions of question marks flooding up in my head!
But I remember someone telling me, "Don't stop talking or give the blank look or God forbid, start stuttering..."
So, as I was working up the answers in my head, I started crapping about every single fact I know about Actuarial Science.
About how new and upcoming the field is..
About how they are less than 10 certified actuarist in Malaysia (which I'm not sure if its true but it made the interviewers look at each other and went "Oooh. Seriously?") xD
Basically, I crapped my way through...
They seem convinced. So it's either they're really nice and didn't intend to make me nervous...
OR... They just BOUGHT it :D

The room became really really cold all of a sudden.
And I was pratically shivvering.
Thank goodness when that happened, their attention shifted to another candidate.
Not so long after, the session ended.
The whole thing ended sooner than I expected, so I had to return to college after that.
I would sum it up as a good experience...
Luckily I went for an interview @ Taylor's College for the Principal Awards last year.
Had a little insight to begin with, if not I would just freeze during the JPA interview.
If you ask me if I think I would get the scholarship or not...
I have no friggin idea.
Initially I thought it's a sure possibility.
But after seeing the amount of people that turned up for the interview...
It seems somewhat IMPOSSIBLE.
So... Come what may...

I finally got to play volleyball after 19271413743478 friggin years!
Well, felt like an eternity...
Although my team lost, we had a blast.
And I came home with an AWESOME tan.
I meant it sarcastically, in case you didn't catch it.
It's kinda frustrating how I get sun burnt so easily...
Now I have a two toned arm!
And a little bruised on my bum...
Being the usual, to dive on me butt...

Bel, I finally updated :D
Was nice playing volleyball with ya!
And yes, Thursday is definitely on :)

Well, I better run.
It's a looooong post.
And it's starting to bore.
So... I'll just end it here.

:)