Of Hurdles and Possibilities

Bob Marley - Guiltiness

The number of times I screw up amazes me sometimes...
I must learn how to think before I speak.
My tongue slipped twice in three days this week.
One I can not take back, no matter how I try.
The other, I foresee the damage would last for quite a while.
I get so carried away by my emotions sometimes, it scares me.

And I have to stop being so cynical about stuff.
Everything has gone by well for the past weeks, but I just can't help but "anticipate" something negative would swoop by.
Maybe because I'm so used to having disappointments, now that things seem to go by smoothly, I'm feeling really odd :/
I hate surprises...
I just don't know how to react to them.

D, thanks for calling.
Sorry if I reacted the way I did.
Just haven't been quite myself lately.
I'm glad you're back, but you've gotta give me time...


Alright... Enough of crap. I guess some of you are wondering how the JPA interview went...
It went well. Not GREAT nor BAD. But pretty good.
I was lucky enough to get 3 really really nice male interviewers who did the whole session in English. THANK GOD.
I would stumble and stutter if they asked in BM!
From the top, I reached Putrajaya a little later than expected.
And entered the wrong side of the building!
So, I panicked and went kinda haywire when I was searching for the namelist.
Luckily I wasn't the only one, because tonnes of them took the wrong entrance too xD
Which was kinda funny, because I could see some of em parents go nutsy.
Putrajaya is EFFING beautiful, I tell ya!
I felt like I was in a totally different country.
The streets were clean and the parks are actually GREEN!
I was pretty impressed with the administrative building where the interview was held too.
Everything was so organized, and the atmosphere was pretty intimidating!
I dressed rather casual formal, compared to the whole lot.
Many came in blazers, pumps and some even came in OXFORDS!
Well, I was in the Medicine batch, so it's not all surprising.
Was surrounded by doctors-to-be!

Oh, which reminds me, I'm supposed to explain myself.
I decided not to do Medicine. Which means I have to change my choice of course.
Yeah, that's pretty bad. Slashes off my chances of getting the scholarship by half!
I didn't want to state anything here previously, in case it affects my evaluation.
Oh you'll be surprised, people actually Google blogs for dishes.
I think Dr. Shuhaila from Hospital Putrajaya Googled herself, or someone did it for her, and the search stumbled onto my blog.
How did I know? NUFFNANG!
Thank God I didn't say anything negative. Not indicating that there was any to say... :D
Anyway, I had plenty of reasons why I don't want to do Medicine.
I wasn't sure to begin with!
Of course I didn't want to admit that fact, not very convincing to get a scholarship.
So, after the hospital tour, I'm pretty damn sure that I don't want to be a doctor.
But was damn worried about that decision because I had someone say to me :
"If that person's not sure he/she wants to be a doctor, why did he/she join this program in the first place?!"
Cricket creaks replies :D

BACK to JPA interview...
Went in a group of 5.
Initially I thought I was the only chinese in the group.
Then I was damn sure they would ask in malay, and I'm SCREWED!
To my relief, ended up my group consisted of ONE malay girl xD
She was really nice though. Sweet girl.
We actually exchanged contacts by the end of the day.
It's amazing how easily we can meet new people at every opportunity...
Anyway, first they asked us to introduce ourselves.
Family background, academic & extra activities background, financial status... yada yada.
My self introduction was pretty dramatic than it actually is :D
Well, I wasn't the only one. It was so obvious that all of us were fighting for the scholarship!
After that we had a group discussion. They gave us a general knowledge question.
Some of my friends said they got two questions. One for discussion, another to be answered individually.
I guess my group was darn lucky :)
Those were the basic questions...
I had extra "attention" because I was the only one in the room who actually wants to change course.
What's even more mind boggling? From Medicine to Actuarial Science.
Hah. Go figure! It's like I've thrown my opportunity off the building and gone suicidal!
They didn't seem all surprised, but they did have an eyebrow raised when I told them why I didn't want to be a doctor, ANYMORE.
Kinda dissed doctors in a way. Saying how doctors nowadays work like emotionless robots, which made them laugh.

I think it's VITAL to make the interviewers laugh! It eases the whole room, seriously!
So yeah, I had a lot of explaining to do.
Can't remember what else I said, but they seem pretty convinced.
I thought my hurdle was over.
THINK AGAIN. They asked the next tough question....
Why Actuarial Science?
One of the interviewer added extra spice into the question.
Why not STATISTICS instead?
I had billions of question marks flooding up in my head!
But I remember someone telling me, "Don't stop talking or give the blank look or God forbid, start stuttering..."
So, as I was working up the answers in my head, I started crapping about every single fact I know about Actuarial Science.
About how new and upcoming the field is..
About how they are less than 10 certified actuarist in Malaysia (which I'm not sure if its true but it made the interviewers look at each other and went "Oooh. Seriously?") xD
Basically, I crapped my way through...
They seem convinced. So it's either they're really nice and didn't intend to make me nervous...
OR... They just BOUGHT it :D

The room became really really cold all of a sudden.
And I was pratically shivvering.
Thank goodness when that happened, their attention shifted to another candidate.
Not so long after, the session ended.
The whole thing ended sooner than I expected, so I had to return to college after that.
I would sum it up as a good experience...
Luckily I went for an interview @ Taylor's College for the Principal Awards last year.
Had a little insight to begin with, if not I would just freeze during the JPA interview.
If you ask me if I think I would get the scholarship or not...
I have no friggin idea.
Initially I thought it's a sure possibility.
But after seeing the amount of people that turned up for the interview...
It seems somewhat IMPOSSIBLE.
So... Come what may...

I finally got to play volleyball after 19271413743478 friggin years!
Well, felt like an eternity...
Although my team lost, we had a blast.
And I came home with an AWESOME tan.
I meant it sarcastically, in case you didn't catch it.
It's kinda frustrating how I get sun burnt so easily...
Now I have a two toned arm!
And a little bruised on my bum...
Being the usual, to dive on me butt...

Bel, I finally updated :D
Was nice playing volleyball with ya!
And yes, Thursday is definitely on :)

Well, I better run.
It's a looooong post.
And it's starting to bore.
So... I'll just end it here.

:)