I Need It Flaming

I did something (kinda) outrageous on a regular Monday.

No Monday blues for this week, thank you.

I painted it RED :D

Highlighted me virgin hair & had it deflowered xD

I was staring at the blue, but my mom was eying on me,

inches away from gnawing me off if I did.

And well, the hairstylist so convincingly said "You'll look good in red!"

So you know how we always feel inclined to believe what they say!

And I did. Am thrilled with the results!

Really wanted to dye everything, but decided not to give my dad a cardiac arrest.

Since I can't revamp my crazy wavy hair with any suitable hairstyle

that would even look a tad bit different than it is, and I can't have bangs.

So get it PAINTED :D

Dad's reaction was priceless nevertheless.

"You look PUNK..."

I didn't even know that was in his vocabulary xD

At least he didn't start off his nag rage.

Which means a victory on my side this time (Y)

Dad 921397642383219 : 1 Steph

Being a good girl that I (always) am, stayed home tonight.

Nah actually I was dead exhausted from this afternoon.

And saving a greenlight for Thursday night,

which I hope will turn out well cause all I feel is obligation for now.

Anyhoo... Last night's hangout got me wondering...

Have I really changed for the past 2 years?

Well, yeah, I do a couple of things that I sworn I wouldn't back then.

But, who doesn't really?

I don't get why everyone made such a big deal to see me doing something

that everyone else has done or is still doing it.
I mean, come on gimme a break here!

Pot kettle black, honey!

All that mouth gaping, eyes wide opened, stunned expressions,

hoohaas & "oh my god I don't believe it..."

Seemed like bullshit to me.

We're all human.

Don't give a preacher's speech & tell me that you've been living by it.

I'm sure as hell wouldn't believe.

Just like how you told me one thing in full vulnerability

and jumped on the opposite side of the road a day later.

Claiming all fine & dandy.

But I'll be picking up the pieces later.

And I'm suppose to sit by and let it all happen?

While I'm on the fence most of the time.

What am I to do, really?

There's only so much one could do to intervene.

No, I don't agree with it.

But I sure ain't necessarily right either way.

What's the "right" thing to do in situations like these?

I'm sorry but the most I can do right now is patching.

I can't be there for the prevention.

I can't be there as a wall or a shield or whatnots.

Because I'm pretty sure you won't let me.

So, here's my conclusion.

We're all masochistic hypocrites.

We say things, we wish we meant, and then blow it one way or another.

And in return hurt ourselves more than anyone else.

We say we're gonna take it out on the world,

as we do a 180 before breaking the walls of our pasts.

Inching towards further vulnerability.

And when we least expect it... BAM!

I guess we'll find out?

Okay.

The red hair has made me a crazier cynical bitch.

17 days to Christmas.

My favorite time of the year.

My checklist is out, and I'm half a tick done (hoorah!).

So which list are you on?

Naughty or nice?

I'm pretty sure that I'm on the "crazies" :D

-OUT-