Of Parents and Little Offsprings

So after speaking to the boyfriend last night, about his unreasonable parents, it got me wondering... Why do adults have kids? The obvious reason is to bring down the bloodline, and to have an heir. Some would really want kids. They claim having kids would just "complete" their lives. Like it's a cycle of things to do once you hit a certain age. To some, this might be the inevitable, since having kids is the consequence of having sex. Though they are many contraceptives out there, but I don't think people really take it, not in this country at least. Some just really love the idea of having kids. But I don't think they realise that these kids would one day transition to adulthood. Some parents would treat their children like kids, even late into their 20s. Some would think they're always right, above all debates. And some would be in level with the young, just for the sake of understanding something that's totally out of their control. Some would despise the fact of their children having leisure time, because leisure doesn't make sense anymore. Some would push their children to the brink of rebellion. Some would expect too much, to an extent where it would seem ridiculous! Some would unconsciously neglect their children, due to their pursue of success and fortune.

So, I asked my mom, would parents ever realise that they have neglected their children? Her answer was rather profound, to me. She said, "No parents would realise they neglected their children. They provide the kids with food, clothes, education and a roof above their heads... Why should the children feel neglected."

So I said, "Sometimes those necessities are not important to us. It's love, compassion and attention that we are seeking out for..."

She sat in silence, trying to take it all in.

Are parents so caught up with their career in this materialistic century? Do they really think riches would make their children happy? As in, really happy deep down inside...?

Many would think rich kids are the ones who live life to the fullest. True, they enjoy the best of the best. They get the best education, the best clothes, the luxurious vacation, the best EXPERIENCE of a lifetime... But I know of many who are drowning in this sea of "love", when they are famished of their parents real love...

I am eternally grateful that I have parents who shower me with enough of love and attention. Although we hardly get to enjoy the riches of life, that's the trade I'm willing to make :) Nevertheless, there are ugly times as well. That makes me question why do adults have kids, like seriously... Like the fact that my parents are over-protective. Getting out of the house feels like a 10k marathon to the opening gate. And when I get there, I'm filled with guilt. And thus, makes me change my mind at the very last minute. So, I am convinced that parents are geniuses when it comes to 'reverse psychology', because it ALWAYS work! I once brought it up that by the time I hit 21years of age, I would move outta the house. That almost gave my parents a heart attack! For Western parents, their kids would leave home when they go to college. But for Asian parents, they would expect their kids to live when them till the wedding bells ring! I don't think I can do that. What if I never get married? Or don't intend to? One thing that they'll never understand either : I don't really believe in marriage. And there are times when they think I'm a total slob, because I really have nothing to do. Well, I admit that I can help around the house a little more than I do, but sometimes everything is done. And sometimes, it seriously did not occur to me that I had to "pick that up". Another thing is, my mother would never understand my needs for freewill. My hopes and desires. My dreams of having a career that I would love, because I swore that I would never wanna end up as someone who hates her job. Because it doesn't make sense to her. It's true that not many adults would end up doing something they love. But there is no harm is hoping. And that doesn't make sense to her either.

I guess we can't get everything in life. And by the end of the day, we're all humans. We are of different generations, with different point of views. And this would never change in a million years. It's just the circle of life. Parents have gone through childhood. But somewhere along the way, they forget. They forget how they wished their parents would come home from work. They forget how they long for gifts from their parents, no matter how tiny. They forget that they were once kids who are going through the exact same thing as we are... And even if they do remember, they would think... 'That's the way it should be'. I have gone through that, so will my children. Maybe down the road, in 20years or less, I will be my parents. I will be doing the exact same thing. I will be worrying my ass off. I will be nagging till the roof blows off. I will be locking all doors with stainless steel padlocks. I will be pushing my children to study hard and be a good person. And I will forget that I was once a child, who wanted nothing more than freedom from my parents.

And to think that one day, my kids will feel the same way as I feel towards my parents, scares me to hell... Makes me wonder if I'll ever want to have kids...

Hey, who knows? Who would really really know... Right?

Parenthood; a stage in life that I will never fully understand, at least not yet.