this shall be my goodbye post.
i'm temporarily shutting this blog down.
in other words, i will no longer update anymore.
i might not be completely abandoning this,
way too much memories & time spent here.
but i won't be blogging about my personal life anymore.
i realise that i have been using this as an outlet,
to express my feelings.
but instead of helping myself, i've been burying myself deeper
so deep into a pithole, dark and frightening.
blogging does help me ease the pain temporarily
but because of that, i forget to deal with it in reality.
in the end, i hurt those who read these,
because i never approached them directly.
for that i'm sorry, and i shall learn from my mistakes.
i am truly sorry to YOU especially.
you know who you are.
i wish i could turn back time and told you from the beginning
how i felt deep inside
instead, i buried it, and blogged about it...
subconsciously hoping you would read it.
and you did, but more damage was done than good.
i am so sorry.
i can't take it back, but i can fix this.
blogging is never a way to escape.
if you have an issue with someone,
talk to him/her
express it to him/her
writing it out here will never help.
the healing is temporary.
and a bigger wound would be dealt with later.
am taking a break from everything.
to change things.
to make sure i don't make the same mistakes.
to make sure i can be a better person.
a better person to the people i care about.
and to never hurt them again.
this has been my secret hideout.
an escape realm.
thinking words of expression will solve the problem.
problem not solved.
but problem spotted.
a big thanks to everyone that has been following my space,
so faithfully although there's a lot of bullshit sometimes.
as much as i will miss blogging,
i think i need to put a stop to it.
i will try to channel my passion for writing some place else.
something less personal and damaging.
i don't have the heart to delete this space.
so it shall remain here, as a memory.
a part of me that has to come to a halt.
am taking a break
am taking a step
for a change.
lots of love,