Nuffnang

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Reliant Escape

Things have not been going too well...
Though I try my best to keep afloat.
Just right above the surface so I could breathe.
Been escaping in a fog.
A fog that would harm me, sooner or later.
Usually people claim that they CAN'T stop.
Not sure if that's an excuse...
But I know I can, I just DON'T WANT to.

I had the weirdest dream last night.
There was a huge crowd of familiar faces.
Friends. Close & acquaintances.
We were all gathered, to be judged.
Our names were called upon, and we had to stand in lines.
One by one, my fellow friends walked towards their assigned lines.
Finally my name was called, and I didn't budge.
I vividly remembered what I said...
"I confess, and I admit my mistakes. But I do not regret it. It was not beyond my control. I chose to commit it. Thus, I am not a hypocrite..."
All eyes set upon me with heat of judgement.
Then it blurred....
I woke up and felt cold sweat down my spine.
Fear. I believe...

Still unsure about what that dream TRULY meant.
But I suppose I'm escaping judgement.
Escaping the truth... and escaping myself.
This is not my first mind boggling dream.
Been having sleepless nights.
So the rest of the day feels like a limbo.

I need some time off this world.
I really wanna fly off somewhere remote.
Somewhere different.
Somewhere calm.
Somewhere to escape all this.
I wish I could just hop on a private jet,
and set forth to Bermuda islands,
or even hibernate at the Himalayas.
In hopes to blend in there,
and never come back.

If life could be that simple.
I hate feeling complicated.
And so messed up...

untangle me...

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