The Day You Knew Would Come

Currently addicted to 'Knocked Up' by Kings of Leon

Bahh! I just found out that most of the universities closing dates for response is in April... YIKES! And LSE hasn't even responded to my application. Apparently they are only gonna respond in late March. Whaaaaat? How am I gonna apply for scholarship then? This is so screwed up. Private organisations only offer financial aid if you've already received an offer from the university. Correction : TOP UNIVERSITY. I'm sorta stuck in a boat that's stranded in the sea. Depending on scholarship alone to decide which uni to head to is scary! What if I wait for LSE's offer and not get it, and the rest of the datelines would be closed by that time, I'll be doomed. There goes the hope to fly over.


I'm so clueless about this because I am the ONLY one in my family who has gone this far to consider. All my cousins studied locally. Being the eldest child doesn't help AT ALL cause' I gotta figure everything out on my own. Asking friends wouldn't be such a resort, paiseh lah... They had to go through the same trouble before. So I should be fussing about this and work it out on my own. But it's such an override! Plus, there are transcripts, certificates and all the SHEBANG to send over. And student visa to apply for. OMG. What did I put myself into?! T.T

This is soooo me to panic about it. How I wish baby was hear to calm me down... He would definitely say "Everything is gonna be alright. Don't worry. You'll make it through..." Okay, picturing him saying that isn't the same! The warm smile and comfort is missing. Sigh. I miss him. Haven't talked to him at all for almost 5 days now. No contact whatsoever, NADA! Dum dum didn't even bring his phone or a roaming device over. He's like over the boarders, and I have no clue if it's even safe there. Sam Sam texted me to tell me that North Korea is in major disagreement with South Korea and United States of America plans to retaliate by military assault. WTF man (Jamaican style :p) That ain't gonna help me sleep at night. Baaah. I should stop thinkin nonsense :x

The heat is getting to my head. It's burning! Baby's enjoying the cooling weather in Korea. Okay, I'm the dum dum here who's whining about everything *smacks self!*

On another (sour) note, the problem I expected to surface somehow, did. Just when I knew that we were gonna face each other again, and all consequences would come haunting again. I'm so comfortable in whatever that I'm having now, I'm not willing to ruin that. And to avoid dragging everyone else into this awkward situation, it's for the best. So just like I've planed, I'm gonna backdown. I feel like a fool doing so, but if doing the right thing makes you a fool. Well, then a fool I shall be. I'm just gonna take the highroad and avoid all conflicts. Unfortunately this is not how others would view it. Because even your closest people would think the worst out of you. Oh well, a silent sacrifice would mean a lot when a priceless outcome appeals in time to come :)

Like feeding a family of stray cats with canned cat food yesterday :D My family and I were having dinner at Nando's @ Atria. A little kitty was practically begging for food. I couldn't help it anymore, went over to Giant to buy a can of food. The little kitty munched on it happily. Made my day :)

^^ Pretty little things in life ^^

Oh! And if you're feeling a little blue, something to make you laugh, or at least smile...

The Oatmeal

Read the one about Twilight and Zombies. Total LOL piece of art :D
Enjoy!

toodles :)

To A Purrr-fect Year Ahead

Roar! Roar! :D
Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

And of course...
Happy Valentine's Day!

Just came back from a family lunch with my naima. She used to babysit me since I was a little toddler, and my family known her for more than a decade now. She was so persistent to dig me outta the house because she's thinks it's "not right" to be alone on Chinese New Year. Even Bel's mom insisted that I go over for dinner because she thinks I SHOULDN'T be home alone. Seems like it's a big NO NO for the Chinese folks to be home alone, without your family during CNY. Scary, but it's a lovely thought :) Anyhoo, I do feel a pinch of regret for not going home with my family. Called PapaBear and MummyDearest last night to wish them, then I felt a rush of regret. When I asked to send my regards to everyone there, they replied, and I could hear them cheering back through the phone. That made me feel even worse! I miss everyone. I miss the gambling session, the gossiping in Hokkien, the GOOD GOOD DAMN GOOD FOOD, the illegal fireworks... Sigh, everything! This sacrifice better be worth it. To top it all up, I've barely started with my studies. Schedule was a little disrupted. So yeah. Gotta start kicking myself in the butt. Or not, those sacrifice would be all for NOTHING.

Sigh. Baby is flying off to Korea today. Blurr piggy, mixed up his flight schedule and thought it was yesterday evening. Bleh. We could have spent yesterday celebrating our 9th monthlyversary. Like OMG. It's been 9 months! Time flies by so fast, it's scary! But I'm so glad things are working out just fine. More than fine actually. I'm so swept off my feet till sometimes I have to pinch myself to pull me back to reality. Feeling sore about him leaving for a week, and because I'm alone here. So thinking that in about 6 months time, we'll be apart for years. I don't know if I can handle that since he hasn't left and I'm already missing him.

Well at least I have this lil furry buddy, that baby gave me, to keep me company :D

Koala because he used to call me that ALL THE TIME before we got together, and look, TY his initials! Though he didn't take notice of the initial thingy...

So, anyway, I've been distracting myself with BAKING!

Fingers were crossed the entire time cause' the OLD oven ain't exactly reliable :s

Chandler BING BING BING! :p

This is the second batch. first one didn't turn out so well. Forgot to add sugar xD and it looked like muffins!

The toughest part!!! ICING!

So frustrating. But I'm so glad it turned out okay. For a person who sucks at art so badly, I would consider this an achievement :D (self-encouragement).

And been spending lots of time experimenting on cooking as well :D
Had a huge success with lunch. Well sorta...

Mushroom Bacon Cream

It's rather easy to make, and I'm suprised how elaborate it tasted. The mixture of flavours from the white button mushroom and the bacon really blended so well. And the onions made it sweet :D

Served it with grilled Ikan Kurau.

Okay you can't really see the fish because I totally flooded it with CREAM :D I call it an ALMOST huge success because it tasted good, but better suited as a Carbonara base. Baby thinks so too. He said it would be great with spaghetti and I should challenge Ms Read's Delicious. I'm pretty sure he's just saying that to make me happy. That's what they always do T.T

Last night's dinner was quite a disaster. My chicken chop didn't turn out so well because it was so darn hard to cook. So I had to recook it twice, and by the end of it I was so hungry till I lost my appetite. Tonight I'll be heading over to naima's again for dinner. She's so persistent! So, tomorrow I shall take a shot on my Mushroom Bacon Carbonara :D Hee!

Looks like my plan to prevent myself from putting on weight has FAILED terribly... :p

Hi-Paw everyone :) Have a wonderful year ahead! PURRRR....

Another major celebration has come,
and that piece of puzzle is still missing...
To that missing puzzle,
wish you lots of happiness,
from the deepest edge of my heart :)

The Rock and The Missing One

If i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me
if you knew my story word for word
had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me

i did before and had my share
it didn't lead nowhere
i would go along with someone like you
it doesn't matter what you did
who you were hanging with
we could stick around and see this night through

Peter, Bjorn, John - Young Folks

Everyone's leaving for holidays, while I'm staying behind for "Damage Control". Have to do some serious fixing or I'm bound to fail Further Maths. Not an easy decision to make, it's like a major crime not to go back to my hometown for CNY. Bet my aunties are gossiping about it as we speak. They even accused me of staying back because of my boyfriend. I mean, come on! He's not even gonna be around. Baby's flying off to Korea on Valentine's Day :( I strongly dislike how CNY falls on everything important this year! CNY eve falls on our 9 months 'monthly-sary'. He's flying off on V-Day! Even if he's around, Cho Yat (1st day of CNY) will keep us home with our families. So yeah, the dates are all just messed up! Been making baby feel extremely guilty about leaving on our first V-Day together xD nyeheheh! But I think I punished him enough already. That's if he remembers to bring back some authentic KIMCHII for me :D

Anyhow, I've come to realise that I'm actually pretty alright with it that everyone will be away. Just needed to be alone for a week. Been so caught up with so many things, it's a crazy rollercoaster ride! Really need to set my mind straight before my head gets to stuck up in the cloud. I have so much to clear off my To-Do list, and it has been backdated for some years. I guess this week's break is the perfect time for me to get it done. Though it's gonna be eerily quiet since KL is practically empty during CNY... I can't wait to finally have some peace. Then I can blast the music and drown my entire town and not get arrested! Been listening to way too much music lately and been overwhelmed by EARGASM :D But yeah, emo songs mostly. Even Nick managed to sense that I've been listening to emo&sappy songs. But of course, I'm always in denial :s Was a perfect time for me to watch all the GossipGirl episodes that I missed out too. But I couldn't help myself and finished them before the holidays even started xD After the the backlashing, bitching, stabbing, hissing and gnawing, S&B can somehow look through it. Hmm... TV shows have a load of bullshit doesn't it? :s And OMG Chuck Bass is like totally irresistible! (shh...)

Celebrated Nutty's Bday at RedBox yesterday. Never had so much fun in a karaoke session before. Everyone was practically screaming their hearts out. It's like a moment for all to let loose. Our plan worked out so well, cause thankfully Nutty's not the most cunning person on Earth xD She's such a sweetheart. I lost count of how many times she thanked us! Anyway, it was a blast! Been a while since I had a good quality with a bunch of people, without booze and drowning music as part of the picture...

Anyhooo... I gotta get going. Gonna drop by Nutty's to grab something important. Gonna be stuck home all day in an inferno! I hope my plans turn out well today...

Flour(check), butter(check), caster sugar(check), icing mix(check)... A level of expertise(UNCHECK UNCHECK UNCHECK)

*fingers crossed*

Gnawing Me Fingers Off

According to Nuffnang, my full name was Googled 11 times today. I'm not sure if I should be flattered or worried :/

ARGH. Been rushing home almost everyday to check my inbox.

You have no mail...

I hate that word!! Agonizingly waiting for two more universities to reply, and it's killing me softly. London School of Economics (LSE) has already mailed most of my friends, but me! Did they even receive my application? Waiting makes me nervous! I hate waiting... Not that I'm impatient, just that waiting makes me all nervous, sweaty, paranoid and I would feel like GNAWING MY FINGERS OFF. Okay, maybe that's a major sign of being impatient :S

Got all my breakdown of marks, *phew* I'm not in trouble. Thankfully, at ALL! :D Can't exactly sail through A2, but not exactly in deep shit either. Now all I have to do is start digging into Further Maths, and start passing up some homework, or Mr Lee won't stop pounding me with his sarcasm. Sam used to tell me how he enjoyed Mr Lee's class cause' he's so cute. Never really got the picture until today xD Try using Chinese (Cantonese) metaphor translated directly to English to humour your class, also consist of an Indian, a Mongolian and an Iranian. Go figure! xD

I woke up with a huge sense of relieve today. Somehow felt a change, and my conscience tells me that things are gonna be alright, if I look at it that way. I'm through with the tidal of waves, and currently sailing by watching the beautiful sunset with a heart full of hope. Bring on the next one, I'll face ya with all my might or like how Muhammad Ali keeps rolling in the punches!

I'll float like a butterfly and sweeten you up like a honey bee xD

Sailing off...

Katie Melua - If You Were A Sailboat

If you were a cowboy, I would trail you
If you were a piece of wood, I’d nail you to the floor
If you were a sailboat, I would sail you to the shore
If you were a river, I would swim you
If you were a house, I would live in you all my days
If you were a preacher, I’d begin to change my ways

Sometimes I believe in fate
but the chances we create
always seem to ring more true
you took a chance on loving me
I took a chance on loving you

La Bella Vita

Lindsay Lohan - Beautiful Life

God wont talk to me
I guess He's pretty busy lately
I'd like to believe
He's listening

I'm starting to feel
All of my bruises imagined are real
And I'll get through each day
I dig through the bad ones
To get to the good ones
Who's keeping score anyway?

And this is my beautiful life
only thing certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive
It's a beautiful life

I talk in my sleep
Thats the one place i know no one can hear me
I tell myself things
Don't walk in the shadows
There's always tomorrow
And I'm right where i wanna be

It hurts while it's happening
I wanna feel everything
How can you know til you try?
And this is my beautiful life

My beautiful life
only thing's certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive
It's a beautiful life

Looks like the point is not taken. All I asked was compromise and understanding. Yet the blame game is still in play. I guess some things are just not worth fighting for. Least I don't hold any grudges and I don't deny my mistakes. To find out it was backdated for years... and many new & unexpected issues keeps popping up... changes things. Thanks for giving me the reason to stop holding on. Have shed my last tear for you. And it's a sign for me to move on. Of all goodbyes, this is one I never wanted to make no matter how ugly it went. But like what's said, one call with no receiving end, would all mean for nothing. Shall keep the memories that meant the most to me. But I am still human, a wound is a wound, and time seems to be the only remedy. Regrets I have many, but meeting you wasn't one, am so very glad it wasn't. People change, and this is a darn difficult fact to accept.

Just like how Grabrielle Solis released a red helium-filled balloon as a metaphor of releasing the grief of losing her conceived child. I shall release seven colours of the rainbow, to represent the number of years that I have known you, with a heavy heart. I sincerely hope your life turns out the way you wished for. I would honestly admit that mine hasn't, because a fraction of the picture is definitely missing.

Anyhow, Only thing certain is everything changes...

That Inevitable Line

Had a horrendous 8am class today. Physic's lecturer totally had an outburst at us. Kinda made the rest of the day a little solemn. I got rather upset about what he said. Felt a hard pinch. Maybe cause I thought we were friends. After all the hours spent in musical. All his expectations I tried to fulfill, and I would daresay I achieved half of what was intended. After all the personal matters between the boyfriend and I was shared with him... And he even stretched an arm of friendship to us. And all of a sudden just because part of the class was unsettled and was a tad bit noisy with slight chatters, he got seriously ticked off and accused ALL of us for taking advantage of him. I totally get why he was so pissed off... We were kinda out of line. But not ALL of us. But like the previous issue. ALL of us got hit. When he said "I have no friends in this intake and don't greet me, or talk to me, or even smile when you pass by. Just finish your damn work." Not the exact quote, but something like that. It was an ouch for me somehow. No one else thought about it that way. Boyfriend is barely affected because he thinks that's how he handle things and doesn't really mean what he says. But well I think harsh things like that shouldn't be mentioned if you don't mean it. I mean, it's better not to let the tongue slip than to apologise about it when the damage is done...

Anyhow, I don't know why I feel affected and upset about this. He always said he never allows his 'lecturer' status to prevent students from having a friendship bond with him. Seems like that's inevitable. There will always be that barrier. And I guess that's why I feel this is somewhat like an issue to me. Ah well, lately I've been a little easily affected by the way people react to certain things. I realised that some wounds do linger and it doesn't really go away. Some wounds were further severed and I doubt it'll ever be healed. Everyday I'm challenged to view people differently. Friends come and go. Closer friends find it easier to step outta the door. And the only way I can ever protect myself, is to let go.

Quoting Mun Wai : "Ya know, when an argument happens with a CLOSE (or was it best? xD) friend, it hurts like SHYTE!"

You said it! So I guess I'm gonna try to avoid whatever it is. Kinda tired of his hot and cold treatment all the time. Now I'm thinking whether to stay on with Musical. After what happened today, I feel rather odd to even look at him. He took things too personally, and made it personal for others. Well, as far as I know, only I took whatever he said personally. Maybe that's what you get for caring too much.

It hurts to CARE.
Ignorance is truly BLISS!

Just wanna look beyond the horizon of a different view.
Wonder how it feels like to drown in that ocean...

Thanks For the Apples

Title above quoting Ming Wai, "I'm thankful for the apples!"

Was mostly shocked than delighted, but above all : Extremely thankful! I have to thank the BIG guy above the most! Am truly blessed, and I feel foolish for not realising it. To say "hard work" paid off would be an overstatement, cause I truly got more than I deserved. But this is such a great encouragement for me to work harder. Nothing's impossible, and you just gotta have faith.

Well, in case you're wondering what gibberish am I blabbering about, my AS results came out yesterday. And obviously, I'm extremely contented. For now I have the pre-requirements to enter Heriot Watt, which I've been wishing for. Just gotta aim to complete the other half of it. It would be much tougher, but the satisfying results will definitely be worth it. And I can definitely see that now.

Even my mom was shocked when I called her in delight. Thinkin I partied too much the last year, she half expected me to come home welled up in tears. So glad to prove her wrong! I was actually so doubtful to the fact that I actually saw my results from my lecturer already but didn't realise that it was my full results. Thinkin' that it was a breakdown for my Mathematics paper, I just went "oh yay, one down 3 more to go..." and walked off. No wonder he gave me a strange look. Technically, sweetheart found out my results before I did. Because I was so blurr and was totally shoving off every lecturer who was tugging at me to check my results. Turns out they already found out first thing in the morning. No wonder they were so persistent.

Anyhooo... I really gotta thank God for his blessings. Life has been tough lately, both emotionally and spiritually. And I'm so glad that he never fails to care... Been in the dark for a long time now, and this is such a bright shine down.

Oh well, time to work extra hard to achieve that other half. 3 more months 3 more months 3 more MONTHS! It's gonna fly by in a jiffy! Eeek. Scares the shit outta me to even think about it!

~toodles

Heart of Longing

I've been dreaming and craving and wishing and hoping and wanting...

To head over to...

Heriot Watt, Edinburgh, Scotland

The campus

The scenery

The town

Doesn't it look magical? Studying there would feel more like a vacation! *swooooooon*



To have and to own...

Gibson J-45, solid rosewood


Les Paul Gibson BFG, in Heritage Cherry
UBER SEXY!


Or just a simpleton, The Concert by La Patrie will do...



To use luxuriously....

The EOS Rebel T1i EF-S 18-55mm IS Kit by Canon


The unaffordable, EOS 5D Mark II by Canon


After using Mun-Boy's auntie's DSLR, I'm hooked! Shall start saving the ka-ching!


And of course, we can't forget the ever mouth-watering...

Godiva's Legacy Truffles


With a hotttt cup of Baileys Coffee...


If I have all those, I can die early *swoooooon*
Oh, the heart of greed. I'll be damned...


May tomorrow bring a string of good news...
Oh please please please please :D

So Close Yet So Far

I'm grateful and indescribably glad!
So far I have two conditional offers from the UK. Got the one I really wanted. Heriot-Watt in Scotland! Omg I would die to go there. It's effing beautiful! Now all I need are good results, approval and of course KA-CHING! That's the toughest part. *crosses fingers and toes* A little too soon to have high hopes. But I'm just over the moon! :)

Guess I'll find out on Monday if my results actually made the cut. EEK!

there's always a silver lining, you just gotta stay positive.
am not all lost of hope on people :)

Deliciously Stringy?

Quote : If life's bitter... I'm here to be your honey :)

Boyfriend is somehow expanding his collection of cheesy one-liners. Should I actually be proud?
Haha... Okay lah. Very shweet... I shouldn't be complaining so much :D Forgive me.

So, Monday started off pretty well. I'm putting up high hopes for this week!
Judgement day on Thursday. Hope there won't be any weeping needed.
Or Nick would have to double his Starbucks wager on me :D
*fingers crossed*

Flipping through Mathematics bookS made me realise how much I'm lagging behind.
I might just need a miracle. HELP!

Ass Slapping Reality

I've been spending waaay too much time on Facebook today. Zoo World is soooo addictive!

You need to learn how to draw a line. Don't fly back around, and give me the same shit about the past. Leave what we left off and let me go on with my life. Not being in contact with me for months doesn't give you the right to judge what I deserve or don't right now. And don't friggin drag my cousin into this, and use him as an excuse. After years of solid bond, you are yet another person who succeeds in proving to me that the years doesn't matter at all. What truly matters is the heart you set forth in the relationship. Which wasn't there in the first place. I've been so supportive over you all this while, the least you can do now is let me live my life. Or you can just shove those Rossignol skis that you've been bragging about up your friggin arse! Go bury yourself in snow. Play your own games. I'm done.

Time and time again, people just don't fail to disappoint. And no matter how I try to convince myself, by the end of the day, I'm obviously in denial. No doubt, mistakes I made aplenty. But at least I don't hold a grudge like how so many people easily do... Seems like pride and ego can easily overpower everything else that's worth so much more. It's just unfair and it tires the hell outta me, that I always have to be the one to patch things up. It's about time someone else takes up an inch of effort in return. Some people are just ignorant to one's efforts. Doesn't mean you don't hear about, or you don't see it, or you don't even feel it, it's not there. Ironically, doesn't mean what you hear, see or feel is real when one say it isn't. This is mind boggling!

Two strikes! I'm one strike close to changing my entire view on people. Ming is so right about so many things, it scares the hell outta me.

To need is NOT to want. There's a difference. Some people just don't get it!

I wish I live in a naive world
Where eyes are blind to all the pain I see
I wish I live in a mellow world
Where joy is as lucid as it can be
I wish time was more merciful
Obviously there'll be so much I can do
Now I sound just like a fool
To know that all these just can't be true

Like A Jaw Dropper

Seriously, you don't say?!

Some people may just scare the very life outta you with facts you don't even see coming. Well, thanks for that dosage. I see now. I definitely with my very eyes, that I need to scrub so bad. And ears too. Need major scrubbing and cleanup! Just discovered something MAJOR! Oh am I so tempted to blurt here, but I'll be damned! Don't worry, honey, your secret's safe with me, for now *sniggers*! If only I could blast em out right here, it would definitely blast my blog to stardom xD But nope nope. She'll probably weep all the way to Timbaktu and I'll prolly spend the rest of my life being haunted, not hunted. Ah well, who am I kidding. Cross my heart and sew my lips!

You think you know people. Hah. Well they will teach you to think again, and again, and again... Not my first experience where people would shock you. Whether it's a "Oh no you didn't..." or a "OMFG are you serious *laughs*" or even a "omg this is so not happening..." You'll be caught off guard when it happens. And you'll be damned... It's tough not to judge. But it's important to stand clear of that. I learned that the hard way. When you start to judge, and you wanna help make it right... That's a responsibility. No kidding. For people like me, who stumble upon mistakes just because of the fear of hurting anyone. Nah-ah. That ain't gonna work. You wanna judge, you gotta come down hard on someone right to their faces. Guess reality is the only way to go. The care factor gotta get flushed down, or it'll eat you up too. Or should I say, swallow you up WHOLE. Which is why I just adore Simon Cowell, and I'm so friggin glad that American Idol Auditions are back! That englishman just pulls me in, every season. And this time Paula Abdul isn't gonna be around to spoil that with disgusting frenches :D But well, it'll never be the same without that chili padi...

So anyway, day by day passes by, things seem monotonic and same ol' same, yet there's a ring of difference in it... I definitely feel that wind of change *inserts Scorpian whistle tune*. Can't be helped I guess. Just gotta cope with it. Shapes the way you are. And sometimes prove that instincts are truly INstincts, and you should definitely listen to it sometime!


On another note, Glee is here! Whoot! I'm so excited! Shut up, it's not like high school musical, and I might probably blow your asses off if you say so :p Can't get "Don't Stop Believing" by Glee outta my head! Ahhh... *swoon*

Sometimes you just can't change people's perception, even if you've given your heart and soul; and your best interest...

According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
According to you
I'm difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress,
can't show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.

[Orianthi - According To You]

Mentally Sedated

It's a baaaaaaaad idea to do Further Maths while you're on antibiotics, cough syrup and sinucidin (blocked-nose medication). Trying to imagine how a lamina rotates about an axis sends me into orbit! I'm now on a planet where rainbows and unicorns are spiraled into candies on sticks. Who needs weed when you have shit like this? Currently taking a break. Anymore figures slapped into my face would definitely make me throw up. I think I have an infection on my uvula. Cause' swallowing makes me feel like barfing. Coughing would just force me to befriend the shiny white porcelain bowl. To sum it all up, my throat is inflamed like planet Mars.

Sleep has been non existent cause' for some odd reason, my body muscles vibrate when I actually try to relax. No, it's not shivering, mind you. I know what I'm talking about. I thought it was my bed, or my phone got trapped at the side, and was somehow vibrating at 1, 2, 3 and 4 in the friggin MORNING! But no. I wasn't feeling cold. Nor was it cold sweat. Heck I have no idea. I desperately hope I won't have to experience that again tonight, or I'll suffer the worst in class tomorrow.

Now my appetite is completely ruined. Sweetie brought me for Jap yesterday, thinkin it would cheer me up, but all I ate was 3 pieces of sushi. I just couldn't swallow. Without having the urge to barf that is... The minute I felt no desire to binge in a Jap restaurant, I knew that something was wrong. Sigh. Everytime I have this sorta digestive problem, it lasts for a month. Blah. I'm gonna look like a walking zombie by the time January ends...

Sigh... I better get back to my work. Typing is making me giddy too. Back to mathematical weed...

So, I didn't know what the Uvula was called, so I Googled "what is that little thing hanging at the back of your throat?" and VIOLA! I've learned a new word xD Sounds kinda cute. Google for dummies! Toodles!

Oh, you don't say...?

This Is Not Our Battle

I've not been a person of faith in the past few years, and I gotta say, it's easier to be ignorant than to be dedicated. To see Christianity in Malaysia being pushed to the edge, aches my heart but I'm also filled with hopelessness and guilt. What has happened to mankind? Aren't we all God's children. We live on the same rock, and just because of a single word, that doesn't even measure up to our faith, lives are being harmed. It amazes me that these people couldn't care less about the image they're setting up for the world to see. The very fact that the government is obscuring us from reality, is sickening to the stomach. Do they really think the citizens are dumb? How much longer are they gonna keep us in the dark?! Families are gonna have to wake up on a Sunday morning, and fear about their own safety while they just wanna dwell in the house of God. Like we've learned in Sejarah, burning sacred buildings is sooo 19th century man. This people gotta wake up and stop acting like effing barbarians! I just ran out of words to say. It's effing ridiculous. One word?! One friggin word?! Yeah people may pride, title, religious mockery and whatever shitnots. If your faith is strong, nothing should ever shake that...

Blah. I'm feeling shitty. First week of the year, and I'm down with a fever. Pushed myself to GSC to catch Paranormal Activity with Nutty, Emmers and Ming. Watching a horror movie is Nutty is ze bomb! She's like fearless...! And she would laugh at anything that would freak most people out. Although I'm a huge fan of horror and gore, I must say, it did spook me out. And I don't think I'll have peaceful nights for the next few days. This little mind is like a never-ending spinning windmill. But my brain needs rest so badly. Go watch it if you have the guts to. Most people who watched it said it did spook them out. It totally messes with your psyche. Except Nutty of course xD Oh well, I survived the first week, and about 30 more weeks to go? "Whoot. All game for it.."

Oh oh... Zombieland sure is entertaining. Seems so much like L4D2, it's humorous! The bf doesn't think so though. Where art thou quirkyness? :p

Zoning out. Let's just all pray for safe times ahead.

It Takes Baby Steps...

It's just the first day, and stress is already starting to pile up. Today didn't go so well. Although I'm so glad to see all the familiar faces. Sweet Ainaa made my day by giving me a pretty Christmas card in a purple envelope. I was like 'Squeak! Purple!'. Anyway, it's great to see friendly and smiley faces around. And of course there are some who would just be a killjoy. Must be the holiday withdrawal syndrome I suppose. I started to feel that too, as class came to an end. College has been awfully quiet. Probably we're the only ones who start right at the beginning of the year. It's depressing!

Well, I found out that results will be out NEXT WEEK. Not so pleasant news... I'm eager to know how I've done. But at the same time, I sense MAYDAY! *gulps*

On another note...

UCAS has finally received my application (after what seems like forever)! So now comes another round of torturous wait for the universities to respond. *fingers crossed!*

Guess it's one tiny step at a time...

The pair of eyes that captures unconditional beauty...

Bring On the Rumble

College reopens tomorrow...
I feel anxiety butterflies fluttering in my stomach! (maybe I'm just hungry :p)
The rollercoaster ride starts tomorrow...
*Reminds self : half a year, half a year, HALF A YEAR!*
It's gonna speed through like a bullet, which means more hard work!
Fingers crossed, and hope for the best!

I even have musical rehearsal later till 6pm. Oh dear God!

Welcome back, horrendous jam and MORONS!

*struts off...*

Bloody Rip Off

Time after time, Maxis just seems to piss me off more and more!

It's like the largest mobile network in Malaysia, yet it's still ripping the loyal customers off! I discovered that Rm20 credit miraculously DISAPPEARED into thin air. I only send text messages and seldom make calls. And text messages cost like what? 1 cent to Maxis users. Although I send about 200 a day, that will only add up to RM2. But 20bucks was deducted in blink?! I smelled something fishy. The only possible reason is from surfing the net using Maxis GPRS, which I did, but it lasted for less than 5mins. So don't tell me that actually cost me RM20?! So I called Maxis, was put on hold several times, AS USUAL! Asked MILLIONS of personal details, just to verify. And eventually said there are no abnormal charges recorded and apparently there's no data on surfing the net. Bloody system is not even up to date! Then my line got cut off !&@(!#(&^@(! Had to call again, and after plenty of numbers to press, was transferred to a different person. I asked to transfer back to the person I spoke to, which was Ayu. Told me that she'll call me back. Hah! That's when the bullshit starts... Waited for 15mins, never called back. So I made another call, went through that annoying numbers shit! I currently despise pre-recorded machine! Had to explain my whole situation, AGAIN. Thankfully this time the lady was more helpful, and wasn't pressing on how there are NO FRIGGIN RECORDS on abnormal charges. So anyway, she said mine was a "valid" case, and obviously that sum of money seems to have been deducted, without any proper record. Here comes the biggest bullshit. My case will be sent to the "Technical Department" and I will be contacted in 3-7 working days (Malaysian translation : PROBABLY NEVER). So I pressed on and asked, 'so they'll contact me if they find something's wrong, and I reckon they won't contact me AT ALL if they don't find anything?"

And she replied... "Um.. Yes ma'am..."

I'm never gonna get my refund. There goes my 20bucks!
Is there a term beyond being BROKE? Because I'm waaaaay beyond that :'(
SOBS!

Put A Shine On Something New

It's a brand new year. A time to do things differently.

Gonna try to revive my dead and crawling blog. This year's gonna be hectic and I hope I'll be able to keep this running. Miss the blogsphere dearly, and I wish time has been more merciful. Last night was different compared to many other years. And I have a great feeling this year's gonna take a wheel of change. Perfect to start a new decade, I suppose. Lots of memories came flooding in as I was having a drink with my other half, including a really weird childhood memory as I sipped ice-blended lychee which tasted so much like Ice-Mony (can't remember how it's spelled, but it's a type of ice cream that was a hit when I was in primary school). Plenty of odd and somehow calm emotions to usher in the new year. Things have definitely changed. Hopefully it's for the best.

Well, a short post will do for now as a start. Last year has been a blast, and may this year be a bigger one!

All things said and done. Let the bygones be of no obstruction but a reminder.

Snails Ahoy

I'm supposed to be studying Chemistry right now...
Instead I'm busy updating Facebook, Twitter and whatnots...
I'm so dooomed....
Exams starts next week!
Things never change :s
I can't wait for December to come.
Big month BIG PLANS...
And Christmas. Teehee....

dreaming away...
don't mind me :D

And So It Goes Again...

Party's on hold for now... AS exam in 2 weeks... OMFG *inserts jaw sound effect here* I am so not prepared for hell to break lose. Finally got all my Mock Exam results, and my my have I collected every alphabet possible! Parents' Day this Friday, yup they still friggin have parents/teacher day, haven't informed ze parents... Instantly hid the letter when I saw it in the mailbox >:D Oh should I shouldn't I or well heck with it :D My maths lecturer would probably start complaining about me loitering around the hallway half the time... Better than staying in and falling asleep *snorts*

That's it for major attractions this month. Last one I had was Arthur's Day and my first chillin' trip to Bangsar... Arthur's Day was torturous! First two and a half hours of the concert was performed by God-knows-whos... Annoying shit. I hate hate hate it when chinese artiste start rapping in mandarin, or even cantonese for that matter. Which is why I'm not a fan of Wang Lee Hom, though he's effing hot. So anyway, MC Hotdog's (whatever!) rap makes me wanna gag/puke/fall over&die. He offered the audience an encore, but was obviously boo-ed but he went on with in anyway. Like WTF. Everyone was yelling at him to get off the effing stage... But noo... He stayed there and performed SIX effing songs, which felt like a million-tonne-of-agony! Anyway, that event was a joke. Free flow my ass. They only served Guiness Stout at a limited area, which was so difficult to reach. The only bright side was Black Eye Peas' awesome performance. I adore Will.I.Am insanely! He's smoking! As in, he has the "awesomest" vibes man! Totally imagined myself jumping on stage and ripping his sunnies off!

I vow to never pay a hundred bucks on a public event ever again! It ain't worth. But thankfully BEP made it much less to rant about... Anyhoo... Just a short update for now. Back to books and midnight oil. Toodles...

Race to the Top

I know... It's been AGES since I last updated. Been extremely busy... That would be a total understatement. Haven't had time to balance my cyber-social life. Been spending most of my time of the day either in college or driving (actually riding in the passenger seat :D) around, hunting for good food. Though it is expected that I would have gained weight from all the binging, but I've only shrunk in width and pocket size :/

Anyhooo... Just decided to let off some stress here. I'm down that spiral of losing control again. It's been chaotic, and I'm the worst candidate to be nominated to cope with this kinda stuff. And it's only AS. Can't imagine how it would be in A2. I would probably see rainbows and ponies down the hallway. Mr Leonard would be a pot-smoking pony :p Or the least of it... I've been wondering why I'm walking down this road with countless bookworms, who seem to be running compared to the pace I'm in... I'm amazed at how they do it. How do they survive not being OUT THERE. I would go bananas no doubt :/ Wish I had their will of focusing on their studies.

It's been almost a month since our course department has been pushing us for UK Uni application. It's CRAAAAAAZY! The hassle that we have to go through is mind boggling. I must have been bloody ignorant to not know about the process of achieving the dream to have English Tea while studying with honourable scholars. The amount of brain work and time allocated into perfecting the uni application is NUTS! Before this I knew nuts about a "personal statement". It has been our daily conversation.

The usual "What's up? Partied?"
is replaced with "What's up (looking down)? Drowning in your PS?"

Seriously... It's like sucking the soul out of someone. Mind you, it ain't easy to write a personal statement, which would be read by "highly educated Englishmen". These people are very particular about their language and they expect you to sweep them off their feet. We're not talking about top universities like OxBridge (they're worse, will touch on that in a minute), even mid-rated Uni's like say... Manchester or Southampton, require an ass-kicking personal statement. And much thanks to our education system, the whole lot of us are obviously not prepared for this...

Remember those days when we dream to study at Oxford, Cambridge, UCL, etc... Picturing ourselves in that funny flat top hat, which I have no clue what's it called :/ And now, at the stage of applying, here comes a huge slap in the face for being silly. Application to OxBridge just closed an hour ago, fyi. And their intake is in September 2010. Hah. Go figure...

I'm gonna stay on the green realistic zone and not even bother to glance at the cross between an ox and a visionless bridge. Okay... I'm being lame. Anyway, I don't think I'm of their material. My application might not even reach their evaluation box. So I'm opting for something that's... well... in the middle. Though I'm looking into LSE. But heck, I guess that level ain't to high to try my luck. Bah. What the heck am I saying. Luck is bullshit. It's all about "flair" in your personal statement. Which reminds me... Looks like Mr.Leo's gonna be my best friend (with personal interests&benefits. coughs.) for the next few weeks. This is what we get for EXPLOITING ENGLISH. Dumb government.

I'm basically ranting about how our education system did not prepare us for this stage. Well, they're not entirely to be blamed. But somehow, they seriously contributed to our lack of language proficiency and the hands-on ability. Although the UK Uni's focuses on academics more. But our jaws are gonna drop 25, 000 feet below us the minute we step into their level of education.

I've got plenty of thoughts that have been accumulated for the past weeks.coughs.months. But I need a shuteye for now. It's 1.40am and I have tonned of things to do tomorrow. Trials are in 3 weeks and I've barely drowned myself in books. Actually, believe it or now. I do not have books. As in text books. Our lecturer feeds us notes with a piece paper, a white board, marker pens and a duster (which I find so cute cause every lecturer carries one around xD). And we're sitting on the receiving end with unlimited supply of foolscap paper and constant face-slapping to prevent those eyelids from reaching its station.

Okay I have to stop using ridiculous analogy. I think today's General Paper test has drove me into an essay writing craze. Brain's going haywire, and all the weird stuff are flooding out. Here I go again. I better stop now. Will go on with my dose of rantings in another day. Probably somewhere in a century or two :)

Blazing blizzard

I'll try to end my hiatus as soon as I can...
Before Bel throws a bitch fit at me!
Kidding, Bel :)

So much have happened lately, I don't even know where to start.
Things have been accelerating, till it scares me off my pants.
Jean would know what I mean ;)

I know... WTF with all the discretion right?
Gee... I don't know.
Been feeling really guilty about a lot of stuff.
Feel like I have several stuff spiraling down to disaster.
It's been really dramatic.

Anyway, I'll update soon.
If I have the materials.
Without pictures, I don't even feel like blogging.

Cheerriiioos... :)

Thousand Apologies....

OMG. I just realised that I haven't been replying on my own CBOX.
Many apologies, I have a really bad habit of not looking at that box.
Please don't stop writing there though, seems like that's one of the only ways to keep in touch with all of you :)

melly
Sorry, mel. I'll link you up as soon as I update my blog. I need to relink some people as well.

bel
i guess i don't really have to reply to you that much since i see you everyday :)
but if it matters...
that rat incident is still rather vivid in my mind xD and it was hilarious!
about the religion thing, yeah... we can sail and get lost in the sea together xD
and yes, i'm actually DEAD SERIOUS about the road trip!! plan one yeah?? :)

munwai
i know this is soooooo long ago. but u're still mean as ever :p

hui ling
omg. you need to give me your link!

jean
scarlet kononnyaaaa.... you're happy where you are now anyway. no need for gays :D

wengsiong
serious?! yay! i got a driver! seriously... let's go town hopping and binging! are you in?! :D

chan
hmm... vincent chan?? umm... umm... don't know worr... somehow it doesn't ring a bell :p
could it be that lansi fella??

sarah
yes, hun. will relink you soon :)

ryan
ello. control your friends k? if they keep asking me to link em, my links will be filled with kids whom i don't know. heh :p

brys
wtheck, bra! you don't keep in contact for so long, and when you do, you insult my taste in guys?! ish ish. but oh well, i've moved on to a nicer guy already :D
i would visit melbourne, if i have the ka-ching. like SERIOUSLY!

wenxian
college is giving me saggy eyebags. what good is that? i miss my beauty sleep :(
i wish i can tear myself in two and visit both of you :D
then again, I NEED THE CAAAAASSSSHHH.
plus, SWINE FLU. airport-phobic now :/

i hope i didn't miss anyone :)
accept those i don't truly know, thus don't know how to response xD
toodles

Twisted Fate

I twisted me ankle :(
when I was playing futsal.
It's kinda silly... I don't even remember how I sprained it.
Just remembered tackling with the bunch, then CRACK!
The pain was indescribable, seriously.
But fortunately, my team walked away with the Gold medal :)
and I brought an excruciating GOLD home =.=
Was in pain for hours after that.
Now I've gotta walk around like a limping fool.

Thanks guys for your concern :)
Leslie and Bel, you girls are such sweethearts.
They really took the pain away, though only temporarily xD
Aaaaaannnd... There's this hot guy from *coughs*coughs* student council who came to the rescue!
He totally took the pain awwaaaay.
Teehee :D
Bel, I still don't know why you don't find him hot. Hmph :p

Anyway, gotta scurry off.
I still have about 100 jellies more to make.
Charity Sale is ripping the soul outta me.

I need a vacation.
Road trip anyone?? :)

Self Insanity Streak

TEMPORARY HIATUS
DUE TO EXTREME WORK LOAD AND STRESS

WILL RESUME SOON
WHEN AM MORE THAN SANE :D

Ponder Ponder Ponder

Coldplay - Lost!

Shyte...
I'm down that road again...
Thanks to you, I'm bloody confused.
Why are people so odd sometimes???

I'm all out of breath.
Try singing "Negaraku" in Alto range.
It ain't easy!
And I had to look at the sheet of paper while singing.
Kinda forgot the lyrics, after not singing for 5 years :D
Who knew we would actually have to sing that ever again!
Well, thanks to musical... Our national anthem reigns.

Sigh... Debating whether to attend the ball. Ka-ching alert!

Week's gonna end. Do I hear a hoorah?! :D

Sprinkles At the Asylum

Jet - Get Me Outta Here


I wanna fly over to Switzerland and stay there too, you dimwit! >:|

Feeling rather sappy today.
Everyone's flying and "conquering" abroad while I'm still stuck here.
Sigh... *self-convince* My time will come... My time will come...

College has been a drag lately.
With exams around the corner, though far far away, and tonnes of ALSCO projects piling up,
it's only a norm to go insane!
I bet everyone is starting to lose it.
It's like our inner Energizer Bunny has worn off.
And everyday is starting to seem rather dull.
As May, Ainaa and I were scanning the cafeteria (tsk tsk...), we came to a conclusion...
WE NEED SOME SPICE IN LIFE!
Something to make everyday a tad bit more interesting.
We're still brainstorming on that...

I lost the mood to crap.
Really tired.
Just finished designing TEN ticket samples...
Sucked the life outta me!
I had to squeeze my "creative" brain juice out for the past 3 hours...
AND PHOTOSHOP AIN'T HELPING!
Couldn't even watch CSI:Las Vegas in peace (Grissom is leaving! O.O).
Tomorrow's another looooong day.
Thank God for two hours break and luncheon with the peeeeeps :D

SappyHappySappyHappyHappyHappySappySappy...
Apparently Ming thinks I'm overdosed... With God knows what :/

Toodles for now.

Self Reflection

James Morrison - Broken Strings

Bar Celona sucks stinkin' ass.
Bad music. Bad atmosphere. Bad crowd.
Never are we going back there again.
Our eating session after that was ten times better.
Had a nice chat with Bel, Farah and her boyfriend.
Hilarious people.
We were quite tipsy and all, so there was a lot of crapping.
Hopefully Vincent would keep it shut :/
And we were almost attacked by a gigantohumongous rat at A&W.
The way Bel jumped on the chair was funny shit xD
Sorry, Bel, but it was :D

It's Easter Sunday.
And I'm burdened with self reflection.
This is exactly why I try so hard to avoid attending service.
But since I'm grounded and really need to get outta the house
and it's Easter Sunday, I decided to give in.

Yesh. I'm grounded because I came home late on a college morning and only had 3 hours of sleep.
Daddydearest still thinks I'm a little schooling girl.
Well, I ain't gonna complain.
I need a leash to keep me home. Need to set my priorities straight.
Been straying away from work for the past months.
So I'll just suck it up for now.
By the way, sorry guys, for being such a cranky bitch that day.
My head was pounding like crazy...

So anyway... back to Easter Sunday.
Sigh. Millions of questions are flooding in my head.
Where art thou my religious self?
I used to be so devoted and faithful.
Now I'm cynical and filled with denial.
I've tried to open the doors of my heart and return my Father.
Pride has been a huge obstacle.
Denial has been a bigger one.
I miss those times when I didn't have to question the words they preached.
I've been driven away by fear and doubts.
And now am drifting away in the sea.
Feeling lost and out of place.
Neither here nor there.
So I'm self reflecting.
Asking myself. Have my dear Father abandoned me?
Would He still open his arms wide to receive me once again?
And even if He did. Would my stubborn heart reach out to him?
As I sit in shadows of the crowd, feeling out of place.
Feeling like a hypocrite. Like I do not belong.
I know that He would always wait on me.
But I keep asking myself, why don't I just go home???

Lately, people have been asking me about my beliefs.
For which I would answer : I've not been very religious lately.
I'm beginning to think that He's trying to reach out for me.
But I just don't feel like reaching back.
I don't know why.
I have friends asking me to join their cell, talk to the pastors, join youth...
But it's not helping. I have this fear of being judged in a religious point of view.
I have a Bible on my bed stand, but somehow it seems so heavy to even lift.
I would glance at it occasionally, followed by a sleepless night.
Why can't I just pick it up??

I'm having a spiritual battle here.
I don't know who to turn to.
I can't turn to a pastor.
Don't know a suitable friend who would know what to say.
Can't turn to my mom either.
I'm lost.

Why did I go for Easter Sunday?

When I love you,
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking,
It's the voice of someone else

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real

Gesundheit!

Plain White T's - 1, 2, 3 ,4

Am down with a bad cold again...
Due to lack of sleep and rest, this has become a weekly affair :|
Actually, I got caught in the rain yesterday :D
Never ever take your 13-year-old, yet to be hairy though he desperately claims he is, brother's challenge of running in the rain...
As you can see, I lost the challenge... and now I'm walking around with a blotchy nose and a bruised ego.
Hate having a flu. I tend to kill MORE trees, and it seems like I have a pipe leakage hanging on my face.
Not to mention I sound like Fran Descher, from The Nanny...
Plus, every class suddenly feels like the north pole.
Not a very pleasant way to start the week :(
What's worse? I have to be at college by 7.15am tomorrow to help out with the Maths & Logics Competition as a Student Ambassador...
Oooohhh aaaahhh... yeahh... sounds great doesn't it??
But NAHH. Just because we're in the Student Council, we have to plaster a smile on our faces to welcome the visitors.
Hopefully my panda eyes won't kill the joy :/

Albeit my horrible health... I'm looking forward to this week :D
Though it's gonna be tiring tomorrow, it'll be fun to have a break from classes, not that I haven't had enough breaks already.. But yeah!
Hopefully I'll get well by Thursday...
Have an awesome plan ahead with Jean, Bel and ze babes...
I declare : WE NEED A BREAK!
And because our semester exams are around the corner, well... a month away but time flies so darn fast.
So, I guess we're going all out this month :D

La bamba bamba
Livin' the life ^^

Of Hurdles and Possibilities

Bob Marley - Guiltiness

The number of times I screw up amazes me sometimes...
I must learn how to think before I speak.
My tongue slipped twice in three days this week.
One I can not take back, no matter how I try.
The other, I foresee the damage would last for quite a while.
I get so carried away by my emotions sometimes, it scares me.

And I have to stop being so cynical about stuff.
Everything has gone by well for the past weeks, but I just can't help but "anticipate" something negative would swoop by.
Maybe because I'm so used to having disappointments, now that things seem to go by smoothly, I'm feeling really odd :/
I hate surprises...
I just don't know how to react to them.

D, thanks for calling.
Sorry if I reacted the way I did.
Just haven't been quite myself lately.
I'm glad you're back, but you've gotta give me time...


Alright... Enough of crap. I guess some of you are wondering how the JPA interview went...
It went well. Not GREAT nor BAD. But pretty good.
I was lucky enough to get 3 really really nice male interviewers who did the whole session in English. THANK GOD.
I would stumble and stutter if they asked in BM!
From the top, I reached Putrajaya a little later than expected.
And entered the wrong side of the building!
So, I panicked and went kinda haywire when I was searching for the namelist.
Luckily I wasn't the only one, because tonnes of them took the wrong entrance too xD
Which was kinda funny, because I could see some of em parents go nutsy.
Putrajaya is EFFING beautiful, I tell ya!
I felt like I was in a totally different country.
The streets were clean and the parks are actually GREEN!
I was pretty impressed with the administrative building where the interview was held too.
Everything was so organized, and the atmosphere was pretty intimidating!
I dressed rather casual formal, compared to the whole lot.
Many came in blazers, pumps and some even came in OXFORDS!
Well, I was in the Medicine batch, so it's not all surprising.
Was surrounded by doctors-to-be!

Oh, which reminds me, I'm supposed to explain myself.
I decided not to do Medicine. Which means I have to change my choice of course.
Yeah, that's pretty bad. Slashes off my chances of getting the scholarship by half!
I didn't want to state anything here previously, in case it affects my evaluation.
Oh you'll be surprised, people actually Google blogs for dishes.
I think Dr. Shuhaila from Hospital Putrajaya Googled herself, or someone did it for her, and the search stumbled onto my blog.
How did I know? NUFFNANG!
Thank God I didn't say anything negative. Not indicating that there was any to say... :D
Anyway, I had plenty of reasons why I don't want to do Medicine.
I wasn't sure to begin with!
Of course I didn't want to admit that fact, not very convincing to get a scholarship.
So, after the hospital tour, I'm pretty damn sure that I don't want to be a doctor.
But was damn worried about that decision because I had someone say to me :
"If that person's not sure he/she wants to be a doctor, why did he/she join this program in the first place?!"
Cricket creaks replies :D

BACK to JPA interview...
Went in a group of 5.
Initially I thought I was the only chinese in the group.
Then I was damn sure they would ask in malay, and I'm SCREWED!
To my relief, ended up my group consisted of ONE malay girl xD
She was really nice though. Sweet girl.
We actually exchanged contacts by the end of the day.
It's amazing how easily we can meet new people at every opportunity...
Anyway, first they asked us to introduce ourselves.
Family background, academic & extra activities background, financial status... yada yada.
My self introduction was pretty dramatic than it actually is :D
Well, I wasn't the only one. It was so obvious that all of us were fighting for the scholarship!
After that we had a group discussion. They gave us a general knowledge question.
Some of my friends said they got two questions. One for discussion, another to be answered individually.
I guess my group was darn lucky :)
Those were the basic questions...
I had extra "attention" because I was the only one in the room who actually wants to change course.
What's even more mind boggling? From Medicine to Actuarial Science.
Hah. Go figure! It's like I've thrown my opportunity off the building and gone suicidal!
They didn't seem all surprised, but they did have an eyebrow raised when I told them why I didn't want to be a doctor, ANYMORE.
Kinda dissed doctors in a way. Saying how doctors nowadays work like emotionless robots, which made them laugh.

I think it's VITAL to make the interviewers laugh! It eases the whole room, seriously!
So yeah, I had a lot of explaining to do.
Can't remember what else I said, but they seem pretty convinced.
I thought my hurdle was over.
THINK AGAIN. They asked the next tough question....
Why Actuarial Science?
One of the interviewer added extra spice into the question.
Why not STATISTICS instead?
I had billions of question marks flooding up in my head!
But I remember someone telling me, "Don't stop talking or give the blank look or God forbid, start stuttering..."
So, as I was working up the answers in my head, I started crapping about every single fact I know about Actuarial Science.
About how new and upcoming the field is..
About how they are less than 10 certified actuarist in Malaysia (which I'm not sure if its true but it made the interviewers look at each other and went "Oooh. Seriously?") xD
Basically, I crapped my way through...
They seem convinced. So it's either they're really nice and didn't intend to make me nervous...
OR... They just BOUGHT it :D

The room became really really cold all of a sudden.
And I was pratically shivvering.
Thank goodness when that happened, their attention shifted to another candidate.
Not so long after, the session ended.
The whole thing ended sooner than I expected, so I had to return to college after that.
I would sum it up as a good experience...
Luckily I went for an interview @ Taylor's College for the Principal Awards last year.
Had a little insight to begin with, if not I would just freeze during the JPA interview.
If you ask me if I think I would get the scholarship or not...
I have no friggin idea.
Initially I thought it's a sure possibility.
But after seeing the amount of people that turned up for the interview...
It seems somewhat IMPOSSIBLE.
So... Come what may...

I finally got to play volleyball after 19271413743478 friggin years!
Well, felt like an eternity...
Although my team lost, we had a blast.
And I came home with an AWESOME tan.
I meant it sarcastically, in case you didn't catch it.
It's kinda frustrating how I get sun burnt so easily...
Now I have a two toned arm!
And a little bruised on my bum...
Being the usual, to dive on me butt...

Bel, I finally updated :D
Was nice playing volleyball with ya!
And yes, Thursday is definitely on :)

Well, I better run.
It's a looooong post.
And it's starting to bore.
So... I'll just end it here.

:)